Rising Stars
by Morgane
Summary: A notsobrief history of Narcissa Black’s teen years, including Slytherin politics, crazy family members, dark magic and one fatal attraction NEW VERSION!
1. Standing apart

**Title:** Rising Stars  
**Author name:** Morgane  
** Rating:** G at the moment, but will increase as Narcissa gets older  
**Spoilers:** well, it takes place in the past, so...  
**Summary:** A not-so-brief history of Narcissa Black's childhood and teen years, including sister love, Slytherin politics, crazy family members, dark magic and one fatal attraction (WIP)  
**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
**Author notes: **Well, as you can see, I have started over. I haven't felt happy with it for quite a long time because I found myself loathing the characterizations and the circumstances in which people found themselves in. I revised all of my plans and made the whole thing a lot longer...I want to write more about Lucius´s school time! Another thing I have to mention is that I don't have a beta reader this time, so you might find some major spelling or grammar mistakes :-(

**Prologue**

A house in London.

Huge and forbidden looking, built to shelter the endless branches of a great family but by no means a homely place, the house imparts an incredible feeling of solitude. Nothing about it, not the self-contained walls and surely not the absolute silence reigning the place, makes the hearts of the three children standing on its pavement any lighter.

They are sisters.

For a week they have been orphans.

They are all still too young to know that time will heal their wounds.

Their father was a Black, of course, the elder of two brothers and the unquestionable head of the family until the unfortunate accident that had taken both his and his young wife's life. Their mother was a Montclair, an exquisite creature with porcelain skin, long golden hair and dark blue eyes that were the precise shape of ever-so-lightly tilted almonds. The youngest of the three girls is the only one, who has inherited her looks, but a trained eye would always find something else in her, a cold, self-sufficient strength Nymphadora Montclair had never known herself. In spite of appearance, Narcissa Black would prove to be her father's daughter the most.

But she does not know this yet. The only things Narcissa is aware of are the way Bellatrix grips her hand way too tightly and the silent tears on Andromeda´s face when a tall, austere looking woman with steely eyes and a thin mouth approaches them.

Aunt Perdita musters them coldly. "So there you are", she finally speaks. "Come on in. It's your home now, whether we like it or not."

It doesn't sound like an invitation and no one understands it as one.

**x.x.x.x.**

**Chapter One: Standing apart**

**x.x.x.x.**

Diagon Alley, for all its pretensions and aspirations to grandeur, would always be a crude and jangling place to her, twelve-year-old Narcissa Black decided resolutely as she tried to shut out some of the ambient noise that surrounded her. It was too loud, too dirty and far too chaotic for her taste. Fighting a sigh, she brushed a strand of long golden hair back from her eyes. She should have known that it would turn out to be a disaster when she had agreed to accompany her relatives this morning - everything always did whenever more than two family members were together. Since she had no money with her, all she could do now was wait until Sirius and her sisters were done at Madam Malkins´s where they got their new evening robes.

For a moment she considered walking over to Flourish and Blotts but remembering that she would probably find her aunt and Regulus there, she quickly dismissed the idea.

She'd had enough of her family for one day.

Narcissa's eyes darkened as she thought back to the turn their afternoon tea at Florean Fortescue´s Ice-Cream Parlour had taken. It had begun quite normally. Bellatrix and Sirius were fighting over nothing, Regulus was babbling nonsense, Andromeda was trying to become invisible and Aunt Perdita had looked as though she was on the verge of exploding. Nothing had been out of the ordinary until Sirius spat out a contemptuous insult about Slytherin House - which was always a wrong topic among the Blacks.

To put it into a nutshell, the afternoon tea had ended like most other meals: with everybody hissing scathing insults at everybody else. Only she and Andromeda had been silent, Narcissa because making scenes bored her to death, and Andromeda because she always suffered when the family was fighting.

Narcissa wrinkled her nose. At times she couldn't help but feel deeply and hopelessly sad for Andromeda. The middle of the three sisters was a tender and loving soul who felt everything way too deeply and who would therefore never be at home in this family, which lived and breathed darkness. Andromeda would always stand apart, even more than Narcissa herself.

Compressing her lips to a thin line, Narcissa recalled the sight of her family sitting at Florean´s again. She saw her sisters and cousins so often, and in such familiar circumstances, that she seldom noticed how much alike they looked. They all had luxuriant black hair, although Bellatrix and Sirius managed to use theirs to greater effect; each sported startling, almond-shaped dark eyes; and each possessed a natural grace that Bella and Sirius exploited and Andromeda and Regulus seemed determined to conceal. Despite her better judgement, Narcissa had felt a sharp pang of jealousy. No one would ever guess her to be a Black if they didn't know better - a fact her aunts liked to remind her of at every family gathering. Her mother's long, sweeping golden hair, her mother's pale, delicate sculptured face with its high aristocratic cheekbones, her mother's impossible dark blue eyes, but wasn't the curve of her chin just like Old Uncle Orion's?

Narcissa made a mental grimace. She hated the ordeal of endless comparisons, wherein the noses and foreheads of those dead and gone would be dragged out and fitted on her face, but when you were just twelve years old, there was little you could do but endure them.

Sitting down on a stone bench, she decided to stop her mindless wandering and simply wait until four o´ clock when she was expected to meet the rest of her family in front of the Apothecary. At least this was a quiet spot - she was already dangerously near the entrance to Knockturn Alley.

Thoughtfully she looked over at the corner where the two streets met. Knockturn Alley was a place that had stirred her curiosity since the day her father had taken her along to Borgin and Burkes when she was just four years old. While Diagon Alley was always bustling and loud, she remembered its dark counterpart to be as quiet as a graveyard. Had it not been for her father, Narcissa would probably never have set so much as a foot onto that street. However, being Perseus Black's favourite daughter, and knowing how jealous Bellatrix, her eldest sister, would be, she had insisted on accompanying him. She closed her eyes for a moment, remembering her father's laughter with surprising clarity. "You aren't afraid of anything, are you, Cissa-child?" he had asked her. "You will never bow your head to anyone, no matter what."

A wry little smile began to flicker on Narcissa's face_. No, daddy, I am not afraid of anything._

"Staring holes into the air, Black?"

Narcissa almost jumped. Turning around, she found herself face to face with the mocking sneer of a slightly older boy who had dark eyes and greasy, shoulder-length black hair. Severus Snape.

"Severus", she eventually greeted him in a cold, neutral voice. "Hasn't anyone ever told you that it is impolite to suddenly appear right behind someone? You could have scared me."

The boy smirked slightly. "I doubt that you frighten that easily, Black."

She didn't reply, but watched him furtively, trying to figure out why the elder boy had addressed at all. Even though Severus was a Slytherin like herself, the two of them had never been close. He was thirteen like Sirius, a year older than herself and three years younger than Bellatrix, and he was the complete opposite of her handsome and popular relatives. With a long hooked nose, sallow cheeks and limp, stringy hair, he not only lacked any physical attractiveness, but was also one of Hogwarts least liked students. As a matter of fact, he was hated by almost everyone: by the other houses for being a Slytherin, by his classmates for his talents, and by his teachers for the condescending way he demonstrated his knowledge in their lessons. The only reason why Bellatrix accepted his presence among her close circle of friends was his almost encyclopaedic knowledge of Forbidden Curses. Still, Narcissa knew very well that her sister would let Snape fall without a second thought if he lost his usefulness and therefore abandon him to the doubtful mercy of Sirius and his brothers-in-crime who obviously considered torturing their classmate sort of an amusing hobby.

Studying him, she tried to determine her own feelings for the black-haired boy. It was just as easy to admire Severus for his intelligence and his sharp wit as to hate him for his cruelty and his scathing sarcasm. Those were qualities and faults that everybody could see, but there was more to him. Narcissa had the impression that he was also broken, self-absorbed and quite scandalously bitter. The most irritating aspect about Snape's complicated personality, however, was the fact that this lonely, dark, unloved oddball was Lucius Malfoy´s cousin.

Narcissa's eyes narrowed thoughtfully. Lucius Malfoy was the only son of a well-known pureblood family. He was intelligent, too rich for his own good and quite devastingly handsome. Supported by his clique of Slytherin friends, namely Augustus Rookwood, Walden Macnair, Rabastan Lestrange, Travers and Mulcipher, the Quidditch captain was the indisputable king of the Serpent's House. Apart from her sister Andromeda, who despised him utterly, there wasn't a single girl in Hogwarts who didn't kiss the ground he walked on and from what she heard, he never hesitated about taking advantage of that. Being five years her senior, Lucius naturally never spoke to her when they met in the school corridors, but Narcissa couldn't deny a certain fascination about the elder boy. There was something about him, some strange, unnameable power surrounding him like an invisible cloak that beckoned her like honey to a bee.

Furtively, she mustered Severus, who was still smiling mockily at her. What the hell did Lucius Malfoy´s cousin want from her?

"By the way, what are you doing here, Snape?" she asked him casually. "I would have expected an intellectual wonder like you to have bought his school things weeks ago."

Raven-black eyes assessed her intently. "I could ask you the same, Black", he answered flatly. "Did your family wander off and leave you?"

"I asked you first."

The boy shrugged. "I'm here to meet with my cousin. He needs my assistance in a certain task."

"Your cousin Lucius?"

He rolled his eyes. "Differently from you, I have but one cousin. What brings me back to the question what you are doing here all by yourself. Another family feud?"

Narcissa frowned, almost imperceptibly. "That's none of your business."

Malice began to glitter in the depths of his dark eyes. "Oh, it is another family feud", the boy concluded in an overly self-satisfied tone. "Let me guess, what could it be about? Perhaps your hopelessly weak-hearted Ravenclaw sister? Or your godforsaken cousin?"

Despite herself, Narcissa almost laughed at the hopeful glee in Severus´s face. "You've almost guessed: it's about Sirius and his plan to become an hermit", she answered in an overly confidential tone. "You'd know all about that sort of life, wouldn't you, Snape? No pals, no fun?"

The older boy's lips thinned, but before he could return anything, a rich, beguiling laughter suddenly sounded behind him. "You're friend has quite a sharp tongue, Severus", a velvety male voice remarked with amusement.

Spinning around, Narcissa found herself staring into the pale, slightly pointed face of boy with cold grey eyes and oddly sensuous lips who looked to be about seventeen years old. Against her will, Narcissa felt a glow suffuse her cheeks. It was Lucius Malfoy.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

Lucius Malfoy´s delicately shaped mouth curled into a half-mocking smile as he bend down to shake her hand. "One of the Blacks, I presume?" he asked in a smooth voice, assessing her so intently that she almost wanted to shrink away and shield her body from his eyes. "Andromeda´s and Bellatrix´s little sister if I recall correctly?"

Narcissa's mind went blank under his level gaze, but for once luck was with her, and her mouth began to speak on its own. "You do", she replied, relieved that her voice sounded exactly as cold and disinterested as usual even though this was the first time she had ever actually spoke to the Malfoy heir. "I'm Narcissa."

"Narcissa? I thought all Blacks were named after stars." He arched an eyebrow as his eyes lingered on her gleaming hair. "Well, it's not the only aspect that makes you stand apart."

Before Narcissa could even think of a witty response, Severus interjected loudly. "I wouldn't recommend that approach", he warned his cousin, casually folding his arms in front of his chest. "All the first years know that 'But you don't resemble the rest of your family at all', is a really bad way to start things off with Cissy. Last year she actually hexed someone for it."

"Is that so?" Cold grey eyes flickered over her with amusement. "Well, tell me, Narcissa Black, have the people who deny you any resemblance to your sisters also mentioned how pretty that golden mane of yours is?"

She gave him an appraising glance, trying to detect if he was mocking her. Maybe he was, she decided, but he also liked to look at her. Yes, indeed, he liked to look at her. "It's no historical first, but thank you anyway."

His lips twitched. "I'll try to be more creative the next time. And now you have to excuse us. Severus and I have things to do."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to keep you from your...appointment", she answered, playing the part of the pretty, well-mannered little girl so well that anyone who didn't know her, would never have suspected that it was all an act. Watching them walk away, her rare wintry smile suddenly broke out on her face. "For now at least", she added softly.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

For your information: Narcissa and Regulus will enter their second year, Sirius his third, Andromeda her fifth and Bella her sixth.


	2. A Star to guide them

**Chapter Two: A Star to Guide Them**

Three weeks later Narcissa found herself at the last breakfast at Grimmauld Place before the start of the new term, replaying her chat with Lucius Malfoy over and over in her head. She knew of course that she was being ridiculous - he might have been nice to her, almost flirty even, but the fact remained that he was seventeen while she was only starting her second year at Hogwarts. He would have acted the same around any other pretty little twelve-year-old, and she simply couldn't close her eyes to such an obvious reality.

Grabbing a piece of toast, she swallowed a little sigh. At times she wished she could say that he had put a spell on her or find an equally rational explanation for why she was in such a pathetically hopeless situation, but she knew that this was a lie. She had allowed herself to be carried away by Lucius from the first moment she saw him and that was the truth. It was a blushing hope, a cracked dream, a feverish daydream built on too many boring days at Grimmauld Place and incredible bad weather, but nonetheless true.

"For Merlin's sake, you prat, just give me the sugar!" Bellatrix shouted suddenly, forcing Narcissa back into reality. Glancing over to her sister, she noticed a furious crimson on Bella's usually pale cheeks that was darkening more and more with every passing second. There was no question whom she was addressing.

Unsurpringly, her demand earned a swift reply: "I'm not your house elf, Bella!" Sirius barked back across the table. "If you want the blasted sugar bowl, get it yourself!"

Narcissa couldn't help rolling her eyes. Any the chance of a peaceful breakfast was already gone. Furtively, she threw a quick look at her aunt, who was compressing her mouth severely. Thin and austere, with clear-cut features and steel-cold eyes, there was something extremely intimidating about Perdita Black, never more so than when she was on the verge of an angry outburst- which was the usual situation when she was in the same room with her sons and nieces.

Quickly, the blonde stood up and passed her sister what she wanted. "Here you go", she said, throwing a little side-glance at her cousin. "Since certain people are obviously unwilling to act polite."

Sirius snorted loudly. "Cissy, why don't you do me and the rest of the world a favour and go defrost yourself for an hour or two."

"Do you realize that these Ice Queen jokes are getting lamer and lamer, Sirius", she shot back disdainfully, wondering once more where the mischievous, handsome cousin she knew, went to whenever he entered his parents´ house. Over the holidays, Hogwarts´ hyperactive troublemaker, all chatter and movement and ever-ready laugh, was gone, and despite her better judgement, she couldn't help but miss him. The Sirius in front of her was simply not himself. He wasn't nearly annoyingly cheerful enough for her comfort.

Absent-mindedly, Narcissa took the silver teapot bearing the Black family crest and began to pour herself another cup of tea. At least, Sirius wasn't alone in his rotten mood this morning. She didn't need to be a seer to know that. Every one of the Blacks was yearning for the time to catch the Hogwarts train - Aunt Perdita most of all. The only one, that would miss the house, would be her.

Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes for a moment. No matter how many years passed, Narcissa was sure that she would never forget her first impression of 12 Grimmauld Place shortly after her parents´ death. Although she had been just four years old, she had felt with infallible certainty that this grand, forbidding looking building had never been a place of happiness or light. Instead, it seemed to be an embodiment of all the Black family held dear suggesting darkness, ancient blood and a faint note of danger.

However, Narcissa had to admit that she ultimately grew to like Grimmauld Place in spite of its undeniable lack of charm. There was a sense of wildness about the place, some incredible air of solitude that appealed to her senses like little else and sometimes when she sat at the window of her bedroom, she even felt completely at home - which, she added in a sarcastic afterthought, was more than one could say for three of the other children that lived in this place. Andromeda hated the place, Sirius was the happiest when he spent his days outside tormenting the neighbours with his silly pranks, and his little brother, Regulus, was the kind of person who was even frightened of his own shadow, let alone the ever-present darkness lurking in Grimmauld Place's endless corridors. The only one besides Narcissa, who took a fancy for the house, was Bellatrix.

A little smile crept over Narcissa´s face when she glanced at her eldest sister. Bellatrix wore a sour expression, but even that didn´t change the fact that she looked ravishing with her lush, voluptuous body wrapped in the blood-red robes that were her favourites. Andromeda always demanded to know why Bella had all of her robes made in such a disturbing shade of red, but Narcissa thought that it was a wonderful compliment to her oldest sister´s dark, exotic looks. Besides, it would grant Bella what she needed most: to be in the middle of attention. Which, by the way, was never a problem for the eldest Black sister. On the contrary, the deadly skill Bellatrix demonstrated in cultivating friends and enemies at school amazed even Narcissa, who probably knew her better than anyone else, to a certain degree. Bella had never been easy to get along with, but nevertheless she was the undisputed ruler in her clique of friends at Hogwarts. Burning like an apparition amid solid objects, pure fire exploding suddenly in claustrophobic gloom - for all her failures, there was something enchanting about Bella's temper. She matched Andromeda's friendly charm with the irresistible allure of all that was forbidden and dangerous. Narcissa often thought that it was almost a joke to watch her two sisters at school, Andromeda befriending the friendless, and Bellatrix taunting them in the halls. Of course she knew that Bella´s morals were more than questionable, but somehow she couldn´t help but sympathize with her. As much as she loved Andromeda, sometimes the sheer goodness of her threatened to drive her insane. There was no darkness in Andy, no cruel or vicious character trait, just tenderness and a purity that would never sparkle in her or Bellatrix´s eyes. Narcissa, sarcastically by nature, could never talk freely to Andromeda for fear of hurting her feelings and sometimes she was exhausted with the effort that such a ruse took out of her. Bellatrix, on the other hand, would throw a tantrum whenever Andromeda reprimanded her for doing something she didn't approve of – which was the case for almost everything Bella considered fun – swearing that she did not know what she did to deserve such a goody-goody as a sister.

Sometimes, Narcissa was afraid that Bella would do something stupid in order to out-do Andy, but mostly she was sure that they would manage. They were family after all.

"Isn't it great that Andy is Prefect this year?" Regulus suddenly broke the silence in a tone of forced cheerfulness and looked around anxiously with his beautiful hazel eyes. "I think it's fantastic that she actually made it, don't you?"

Narcissa couldn't help but smile at the eager look on Regulus´s childish face. She didn't like her youngest cousin much, but nobody could deny that the boy always did his best to create a halfway normal atmosphere at family gatherings of any form.

Unfortunately, Bellatrix had no willingness too cooperate. "Yeah", she returned darkly. "Just too bad that she doesn't have a decent guy on her side."

Of course, Andromeda looked up sharply. "What do you mean by that, Bellatrix?" she asked through half-clenched teeth. "For your information, Ted is very nice and I am sure that he will be a wonderful Prefect!"

"Very nice ", her sister echoed derisively. "For Merlin's sake, Andy, he's a mudblood!"

"And nobody gives a rat's ass about it, Bella", Sirius shot in, a look of utmost annoyance on his face. "Tonk's a nice chap and that's all that matters, period."

Bellatrix´s eyes flared angrily. "It's all that matters to ignorant morons like you, you mean. I for my part..."

"God, why is it so impossible for this family to endure at least one breakfast without people complaining about muggleborns or making plans to behead the House Elves?!" Andromeda interrupted her impatiently, obviously strengthened by Sirius's unexpected support. "Besides, Ravenclaw is better off with him as prefect as Slytherin is with Lucius Malfoy! Merlin knows the git abuses his position to no end! I am glad when he graduates at the end of term!"

Narcissa looked up, astonished at the tone of utmost loathing in Andromeda´s voice. Bella, however, returned her sister's look without even flinching. "Lucius has done a fine job as prefect these last two years", she answered irritatedly. "Everybody knows that he would have been Headboy this year, if Dumbledore wasn't the most biased Headmaster this school has ever seen."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You know exactly what I mean! There hasn't been a single Headboy or Headgirl from Slytherin since he has become Headmaster, Andy! Not one!"

"I know why I like the old man", Sirius stated contentedly.

Bellatrix groaned. "Sirius, the only reason you and your idiotic friends like the senile fool is because he favours your stupid house. With a decent Headmaster, you and James Potter would have been expelled in your first two weeks."

"Don't you insult James!"

"I didn't insult your little side-kick, I was barely stating a fact!"

"Can somebody please pass me over the marmalade?" Regulus asked in a desperate voice.

"If you ask me, Professor Dumbledore was absolutely right not to make Malfoy Headboy", Andromeda spat out, without even looking in Regulus's direction. "Prefect, Quidditch captain, I don't even want to think of what he would do with more privileges."

"He would do the job a lot better than some Mudblood anyway!" To Narcissa´s surprise it was her voice that had spoken out this words, each of them edged in ice.

She saw her sisters' eyes widening in astonishment - it wasn't like Narcissa at all to participate in the Black childrens' habitual fights over the morning tea - but somehow the girl couldn't stop herself. "Everybody knows that the single reason why you despise Lucius Malfoy is because he is honest enough to call you a mugglelover to your face when the whole school does it behind your back", she continued coldly, for once not caring whether or not she would hurt her sister with her honesty. "So please spare us this petty lecture about him not being fit for the job."

For a moment everybody at the table stared open-mouthed at her. Then a little grin broke out on Sirius's face. "Cissy loves Malfoy, Cissy loves Malfoy", he teased her in a sing-song voice, but before Narcissa could even think of a witty retort, her aunt let her fist fall heavily on the breakfast table.

"That is enough!" Perdita Black snapped, the faint warning of a coming outburst in her voice. "You have a whole term in front of you in which you may bicker to your heart's content without forcing me to listen, so be quiet for now, for Merlin's sake!"

Bellatrix already opened her mouth for some hot reply, but before she could say anything, Narcissa - who had quickly come back to her senses - kicked her hard under the table. Aunt Perdita´s vein was throbbing furiously against her pale temple, a sure sign that she was shaking with suppressed anger and contradicting her when she was in this mood, was never wise.

Indeed, the steely eyes were already searching for another victim. Landing on the pale face of the new prefect, Perdita's lips curled back into a contemptuous sneer. "And you, Andromeda Black", she addressed her in a sharp voice, deliberately ignoring the way her niece cringed uncomfortable under her cold glance. "I don't want to hear anything about you running around with Mudbloods ever again. Merlin knows that we don't need any more Blood Traitors in this family."

When her niece didn't answer, she lowered down to her, her cold eyes glittering dangerously. "Listen closely to me, girl, I won't tolerate any relative of mine claiming to be the same as a mudblooded whelp, do you understand this?"

She still didn't answer.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS?"

"Yes, Aunt Perdita." Andromeda´s defeated whisper brought a cruel smirk to Bellatrix´s face, but this time she didn't need her younger sister to know that she should better not comment this.

The breakfast continued in forced silence, but Narcissa had lost her appetite. Listlessly poking at her plate, she suddenly longed for the silence of her room - or any other place far, far away from here. It wasn't as though she didn't love her family - she held affection for all of them in her heart and she knew that deep down, even Sirius and Bellatrix didn't hate each other as much as they always pretended to - but somehow they simply couldn't get along.

And yet...

Sipping at her tea, she found her thoughts wandering back to her parents. When they had died, she was too young to understand the finality of death, too young to even begin to grasp the vastness of eternity and although she felt their loss keenly as any normal girl would at the death of her parents, it was more of a dull ache in her heart that wasn't even there most of the time. Blurry visions, half memories and that was all.

Looking over the sullen faces at the breakfast table, she smiled thinly. For good or bad, this was the only family she ever really had.

The sound of the door opening suddenly pulled her back from her reverie. Uncle Cepheus entered, like always he looked worried and, at the same time, in a hurry -as though he still had hundred of appointments waiting ahead. "I have the Portkey for King's Cross", he announced, holding up a beautiful silver chain. "You can set off any minute if you like."

"Thank goodness", Perdita said the thoughts shared by everyone .

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Perdita Black loathed train stations. The coming and going, the ever-present display of emotions and the variation of the people she met there, all of the colourful life never failed to unsettle her. She was so accustomed to the cold of her home and to the chilled silences after the inevitable fights that anything else always made her shake her a little - but nothing more so than King's Cross.

Ignoring the ambient noise, she suddenly remembered with startling clarity the times when she herself had been waiting for the Hogwarts train like this, nothing more than a little girl full of visions and dreams and silly hopes. Her school time had been made of mindless days only, filled with pleasant matters of no importance, true enough, but nonetheless they had been the happiest years of her life. Winning the housecup; butterbear at the three broomsticks; Cepheus kissing her neck and promising her he would take her away from London.

She snarled inwardly. What lies! The family had swallowed him whole before his twenty-first birthday. She wondered if her husband still remembered the chilly nights they had climbed the Astronomy Tower and discussed the names for the children they planned to have: A star to guide each of them.

Well, the bright blazes had been pinched out soon enough.

Still, she couldn't blame Cepheus for what had happened, could she? Perdita herself had been unable to revolt against their family. No, there had been no real question of them getting away, of a life up south Europe or anywhere else on the planet. The fighting had begun over the church where they would marry.

"Holy Cross is our church", her Grandmother Cassiopeia had finally decided the matter for Cepheus and his bride. "And you, a tenfold Black, shouldn't even think about marrying anywhere else."

A tenfold Black.

A wistful smile appeared on Perdita Black´s thin lips when she thought about the famous Black Family Tree - it always reminded her of the thorny vines that choked off the windows and doors of Sleeping Beauty's castle. She remembered her father bemoaning the habit of interfamily marriages on more than one occasion, but nevertheless their lives were forever circling and recircling the same tree.

"A tenfold Black means that you are ten times from within the fold", Cassiopeia had told her. "That you have ten different lines of descent. You ought to be proud of it."

Pride. Yes, pride was all that was asked from her, and proud she had been. Never had she felt any need to associate with those her parents warned would sully her name. The House of Black was older than her, would live beyond her, and the idea of putting her desires above it had absolutely never entered her mind. Perdita had always known what and who she was going to be. She had always known that she would make her family proud.

If only these damned brats would feel the same way!

Pressing her lips together severely, she threw a short glance at the four children at her side. Andromeda had already left the group, no doubt heading in a straight-line towards one of her worthless mudblood friends. Bellatrix and Sirius were quarrelling again. For a moment, Perdita had to fight the urge to make them shut up. There were days when she was deeply thankful that these two troublemakers didn't join their talents for causing mayhem. Most times she wanted to snap their necks when they started one of these pointless arguments..

"Sirius Black, you are an arse!" Bellatrix was hissing right now.

"Well, we're cousins. Does this tell you something?" came the pleasant reply.

Perdita applied her best efforts to ignoring them. They were leaving in a few minutes for another term, why bother getting involved? Neither of them would listen to her, so why spoiling these last few minutes?

A little sigh escaped her lips. She knew she shouldn't feel this way, but she was actually relieved that she didn't have to see any of them until Christmas again. It wasn't as though she had ever asked to be loaded with five children, one more complicated than the other, and three not even her own. Merlin knew that she had never wanted Perseus´s children at all. She had enough trouble with her own two sons and the last thing she needed were her brother-in-law's three daughters, but she had been aware of the fact that nobody else in the family would be able to take care for them. Elladora, her only sister took a ghastly delight in killing her House Elves, and was not mentally stable enough to be trusted with children. Their cousin Araminta had always hated the sisters. And like always, the responsibility had fallen to her.

Perdita would never forget the day her three nieces had been brought to Grimmauld Place. Andromeda, always the weak-hearted and emotional one, had let her tears fall freely, but the two younger ones had been still, almost unnaturally so for children so young. The only visible sign of their grief had been the way they gripped each other hands just a fraction too tightly. It had seemed to her, were they to let go of them, they would have to die, too.

All of them had been too young to know that time would heal their wounds...

"Have you seen James somewhere?" Sirius asked for what seemed like the thousandth time. He looked around anxiously. "He said he would meet me here."

Bellatrix snorted. "For Merlin's sake, don't get so worked up!" she returned contemptuously while grabbing her suitcase. "I'm going. See you later, Cissy." After a short pause, she added an unemotional, "Bye, Aunt Perdita."

Perdita's lips curled back into a snarl. "Have a nice journey", she returned sarcastically.

"Ah, there he is!" Sirius cried out suddenly. "James! JAMES!"

Perdita felt a rush of familiar furious irritation rising in her, when her eyes detected the young boy with messy black hair who had just begun to wave frantically at her eldest. What was so special about this little muggle-lover that her son forgot his own family over him? Sirius resembled his cousin Bellatrix in so many ways, why was it that he was in Gryffindor and associating with people like this, while her niece was one of the most popular Slytherin girls with friends from pureblood families only?

Her face hardened. Nothing would ever be able to make her forget the humiliation she had felt when she had gotten Sirius's letter about his Sorting. Not even Regulus getting into Slytherin a year later had been enough to close this wound.

Looking upon her younger son who had just spotted his best friend Barty Crouch among the students, her expression softened again. She knew of course that there were weaknesses in Regulus as well, that he was too soft-heartened and too easily frightened, but at least he never caused her sleepless nights like his elder brother, for whose mischief-making she got about three owls a week.

"Why don't you two just go?" she asked them, using the same cold and unconcerned voice she always did. "I am sure your friends are already anxious to meet you."

Sirius nodded, his face glowing with unfamiliar joy. "Bye then", he nodded absent-mindedly, not even bothering to look at her before he ran towards his friend.

Regulus kissed her on the cheek. "I will miss you", he told her sincerely, before he followed his big brother into the crowd.

For a moment she looked after her two sons, her face not revealing any of the feelings which coursed through her, then she turned to the remaining girl. "Well, that leaves the two of us, Narcissa."

Her niece didn't respond. She just looked at her with hose startlingly blue eyes that never failed to make Perdita feel uncomfortable. Even as a small child, Narcissa had worn this expression, this cool, appraising look that suggested that she could see straight to the heart of things. The passing years had only intensified it. Narcissa, just like her father, seemed to notice everything around her. Like him, she possessed a perception in a form as raw as the most exotic magic - not Foresight, but Sight itself.

It was strange. Narcissa looked exactly like her mother Nymphadora, an exquisite creature with porcelain skin, long golden hair and impossible dark blue eyes that were the precise shape of ever-so-lightly tilted almonds, but in her cold, self-sufficient strength she was her father's daughter the most. _What odd sums in addition they all were in that family. The answer was never quite what one would expect._

"Good-bye then, Aunt Perdita", the blonde eventually said, still the same unreadable expression on her face before she turned around. "I'll send you an owl after we arrived."

"I'd appreciate that."

Watching her niece heading towards the train, a little smile broke out on Perdita's thin lips. Over the last few years she had watched her youngest niece blossoming into strange beauty and brilliance, knowing no law than her own and in the process she began to understand something fundamental about Narcissa. She would always succeed. Probably the prettiest of that entire generation of Blacks far and wide, and surely the most intelligent and non-confrontational, this small, fragile looking girl always found a way to get whatever she wanted. Perdita's smile widened as she watched the blonde retreat into the train. Narcissa was the only one of the five children for whom she didn't have to worry constantly and she was thankful for that.

When she couldn't see any of the children anymore, Perdita Black finally allowed herself a sigh of relief.

They were gone. She would have another four months of peace. Perhaps she should just leave them at Hogwarts over Christmas too, she thought idly, but she knew already that she wouldn't do it. Gathering the family again and again at Grimmauld Place was an act, not of faith, but of desperation - of trying to hold to a sense of a common bond and a familiarity, which long ago had become impossible to maintain. The whole thing was typically Black - bad judgement, bad manners, bad morals - all disguised as some sort of lofty family activity and yet she couldn't help but try again and again. For as much as these five children disappointed her, as much as they threatened to drive her insane, they were still her family.

They were all Blacks with their own stars to guide them.

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to be continued...


	3. The Hogwarts Express

AN: A quite short chapter written over the holidays. I hope you will enjoy it – it´s brandnew!

**Chapter Three: The Hogwarts Express **

Anybody who saw Narcissa entering the Hogwarts Express would see a very collected, calm person with a bored expression on a lovely face. Those few, who knew her better, would notice a small line between her eyebrows, though, a clear sign, that the girl was trying to solve a particularly hard problem.

Truth be told, Narcissa did not quite know what to do. There was no way she could spend the whole voyage standing in the middle of the train, but she could not think of somebody who would sit with either: she did not have any close friends and Andromeda, who had taken her under her wings last year, was travelling in the prefects´ compartment.

She sighed heavily. Why the hell did Dumbledore have to make Andy prefect anyway? It was not as if the girl had any qualities beside a clever mind and a good heart and neither would help her to gain her fellow students´ respect. It would be so much easier if Andromeda were here.

A wistful smile broke out on her face when she recalled the first time she had entered the Hogwarts Express a year ago. After the three terribly lonely years, that she had spent all alone in Grimmauld Place with nobody to keep her company but Regulus and, far more satisfactory, the library, she had been sparkling with joy on her first school day, a feeling that had changed drastically the moment Bellatrix had neglected her to meet with her friends.

When Andromeda had seen her all by herself, she had decided to take care of her with the generosity of a pure heart and Narcissa had spent the voyage to Hogwarts in the company of her sister and several Ravenclaw girls who had marvelled at her blonde hair and her beautiful complexion. This year, however, she had to manage by herself.

With another sigh, she opened the door to the first compartment she passed only to find a group of boys wrestling around on the floor. Several limbs were entwined at precarious angles, yet they continued to pound into one another. A few heads were visible through the pile of adolescent violence. Crabbe, Goyle, and Fergus Avery from her own house and, predictable enough, her cousin Sirius and that damnable little gang his.

Leisurely she crossed her legs and reclined against the wall to observe the scene in front of her. "Having fun, I presume?" she asked coolly.

Sirius paused long enough to look up and sneer at his youngest cousin. "Cissy, crawl back under the rock you-- ahg!"

His insult was cut off by a vicious twist to the wrist complements of Goyle.

Narcissa smirked. "Well, as fun as it is to watch the six of you beating the daylights out of each other, there are people who are trying to enjoy a quiet ride. By the way, have you seen Bellatrix."

Sirius shot her a venomous look. "In the next compartment I think. And now get lost or…"

Before he could finish his sentence, she closed the door open with an audible clap. Her dark blue eyes gleamed with triumph. With a bit of luck, Bella wouldn´t mind if she spent the voyage with her and all her problems would be solved.

Good-humourdly, she opened the next compartment door – and froze.

Her sister was holding hands with Rodolphus Lestrange.

For a moment she just stared, a feeling of utmost betrayal rising in her chest. Slowly she became away that her fingernails were digging into the soft skin of her palms. The sharp pain brought her vision back into focus.

Her sister. Her favourite sister and Rodolphus Lestrange.

Of course she should have foreseen this turn of events. The way Bellatrix´s eyes sparkled when she spoke about her classmate, the countless letters she had written to him over the summer, but somehow the possibility had not entered her mind. Somehow she had thought that they would always be the Black sisters, united against the rest of the world.

How incredibly naïve.

Accentuated she cleared her throat. "Bella?"

Bellatrix looked up sharply. "Oh Cissy", she greeted her in an irritated voice. "Why aren't you…" she stopped when she suddenly comprehended. For a moment she seemed to struggle with herself, then she sighed deeply. "Oh my. Why don't you sit with us, then? Evan and Julien will come, too, so it doesn't make any difference."

Rodolphus made a grimace. "And I don't have a say in this?"

"No", Bella returned curtly. "Come in, Cissy. Don't let Rodolphus scare you."

Narcissa sniffed disdainfully. "I certainly won't."

With all the arrogance she could conjure, she floated into the compartment and sat down next to her sister. Jealousy was boiling in her, hot, furious jealousy.

"So, you're Narcissa", Rodolphus began, obviously to please Bella. "I've heard so much about you."

Narcissa already opened her mouth for a scathing response, but fortunately, Evan Rosier and Julien Wilkes, two close friends of Bellatrix, decided to turn up at exactly this moment.

The former just shot a surprised glance at her, but Julien Wilkes groaned. "What the hell is this? Have we founded a kindergarten?"

"Cissy used to sit with my sister Andy", Bella interrupted him curtly, the first signs of anger flaring in her dark eyes. "This year, she sits with me, period."

"My, aren't you nice", Julien mocked her.

"My, aren't you dead", the eldest Black shot back sweetly, grabbing for her wand.

To Narcissa´s surprise, the older boy lifted his hands. "Hey, no offence. Let the child sit with us, who cares anyway."

"The child", Narcissa commented frostily. "Has a name. It's Narcissa."

She saw Evan Rosier´s lips quirk at her comment, but when she looked closer, the boy had already turned to Bella. "Narcissa", he repeated. "Why is she not called after some star like the rest of your lot?"

"My mother", Bellatrix explained. "When Cissy was born, she looked like some angel with her fair hair and her blue eyes, and mother insisted on giving her a flower name. She said there were enough stars in the family, she wanted a narcissi."

"Well, it's a nice name", Evan commented pleasantly. "Very unique."

Narcissa snorted, for once not willing to play along. "Indeed."

For the first time Evan actually looked at her. "You don't like it?"

"Would you like to share your name with someone who died from vanity?" she shot back frostily.

The boy began to laugh, obviously not offended by her coldness. "Well, if you see it like that. But I think it's nice anyway."

Narcissa shot him a distrustful glance. Evan Rosier, the only son of a very rich pureblood family, was a year older than she, louder, funnier and much more easy-going. As a matter of fact, most people were of the opinion that the Sorting Hat had made the carefree boy with sparkling green eyes and the glossy light-brown hair a Slytherin solely for the sake of his blood, but Narcissa suspected that deep down, Evan was as cunning anyone else in the Serpent's House. Bella wouldn't deal with him otherwise.

Still suspicious, she searched for his eyes, friendly, curious eyes, and despite herself she returned the smile tentatively, not the frosty smile she showed in public, but a real smile that illuminated her face. "Well, thank you."

For a second he stared at her with a bewildered expression, but then he nodded. "You should smile more, you know? It really suits you."

Julien snorted. "Evan, are you flirting with that brat? I didn't know you went for children."

"Just shut up, Wilkes", Bellatrix all but hissed the words, running an impatient hand through her raven-black hair. "Let's rather talk about something interesting. Who are the new Headboy and girl? Does anyone know?"

Julien snorted. "Yeah, Longbottom and his fat girlfriend. Poor choice."

"Who would have been yours then?" Rodolphus shot in, genuinely interested.

"Well, Malfoy, obviously."

Bellatrix snorted. "I don't know. He's already quite full of himself, isn't he?"

Narcissa was not surprised to see that her sister used the same arguments she had contradicted fiercely only a few hours ago when Andromeda had used them. Defending the Malfoy heir against Andromeda meant defending Slytherin´s honour, but it didn't mean that Bella actually liked the Lucius. As a matter of fact it made sense that she did not. Being Quidditch captain, prefect and quite devastingly handsome, Malfoy was the undisputable king of Slytherin and Bellatrix couldn't stand to be second in anything.

Obviously Rodolphus thought about the same lines. "You just talk like that because you'd die to get Lucius´s position, Bella", he smirked. "Just admit it."

Bellatrix shot him a furious look. "That's not right, I simply don´t like him", she defended herself, more loudly than necessary. "He's just too…cold. You look at him and you never know what he's thinking about, just like…" Her eyes wandered around the compartment and finally landed on Narcissa. "In fact just like you, Cissy."

Narcissa smiled serenely. "I'll take that as a compliment."


	4. Beginnings

AN: THANK YOU so much for your wonderful and well-constructed reviews - I get such a kick out of reading them!!! I was really quite afraid that people would not like the new version of "Rising Stars" – I am very relieved ;-)

**Chapter 4: Beginnings**

Narcissa curled up on the couch beside the fireplace in the Slytherin common room and tried to focus on the Defence Against the Dark Arts text in front of her. Although she normally preferred the privacy of her dorm for studying, today an unusually cold October late afternoon had drawn her to the larger fireplace here. It simply isn't fair, she lamented inwardly. Not that she actually cared very much about where she resided, but it was typical of this school to give Gryffindor a toasty tower and put Slytherin in dark dungeons which weren't just dim and dusty, but also the coldest place to be found in the entire castle. Well, at least, she had managed to get one of the prime places near the fire. Lucius and his clique, its usual occupants, were either outside training for their next Quidditch match or studying in the library and none of the other students had dared to interfere when a particularly aggressive Bellatrix Black had claimed the best places for herself and her friends.

A little smirk played around Narcissa´s lips as she glanced over to her sister. Bella was slouched alone on of the more comfortable sofas, piles of books and parchment stacked around her. She and Fergus Avery were the only sixth years who hadn't already finished the essays for Professor Binns they had to hand in tomorrow and her sister was in an accordingly rotten mood. She had been complaining all morning about the amount of homework the ghost had assigned and how Julien Wilkes was a cold-hearted bastard for not giving her his essay to copy - a rant Narcissa had heard repeatedly in infinite variations over the course of her years at Hogwarts. She sighed inwardly, making a mental note to prepare for the major temper tantrum that she expected at any time. She knew her sister well enough to understand that it was almost inevitable.

"Don't they bloody heat this place?" a familiar voice suddenly drawled near her ear. "There's no way anybody could concentrate on homework while freezing to death."

Looking up, she arched an eyebrow at Evan Rosier who had somehow managed to appear in front of her without her notice. "Homework?" she repeated dryly with a significant glance at the empty piece of parchment in his hand.

The older boy made a grimace. "Let's say homework-in-progress." The couch creaked as he sat down beside her, the characteristic secretive smile he reserved only for her playing on his lips. "However, I've decided that a nice conversation with my favourite second year would be a far better way to spend the evening than Charms."

"I suppose I don't have a say in this?"

"Who says you're my favourite second year?" He winked good-naturedly. "Come on, Cis, there's no reason why you should bother with Defence anyway. Carlisle has this weird concept that low grades are bad for her pupil's self-esteem. The best Defence teacher I ever had, and it's already the third."

Sighing, she laid the text aside, knowing that there was no way she would finish it this evening - Not if this particular friend of hers had a say in the matter.

This thought almost caused her to laugh. Since the train voyage two months ago, Evan often searched for her company and she could not deny the vicious delight she felt at being friends with one of the most popular boys in Slytherin. And to top that, she really liked him. She liked him for his brilliance, his humour and the way he never seemed to care about the fact that she was a Black, but simply appreciated her for being herself. Besides, he was the only one in Bellatrix´s clique, apart from Severus Snape who was just one year older than herself and, unlike the older boys such as Rodolphus Lestrange and Julien Wilkes, he didn't consider it beneath himself to talk to a second-year. As a matter of fact, he sometimes even seemed to prefer her company over that of his friends and no matter how much Narcissa loved her sister, she couldn't help but like beating Bellatrix at something.

"So what will you tell Flitwick tomorrow?" she demanded to know. "I don't think he will believe 'My owl ate it'. Not again."

The green-eyed boy just shrugged. "I'll just copy it from my dear roommate later."

"You don't actually think that Severus is going to just give his precious essay to you, do you?" Narcissa snorted derisively. "Not in this world."

"Who said that I was going to ask him?" Evan settled back on the sofa and rolled his eyes melodramatically. "I swear, the only good thing about sharing a room with Snape is that he's almost never there - he practically lives in the Restricted Section of the library. Not that he's officially allowed to be there, but I guess being related to the Malfoys has its uses."

Narcissa´s eyes narrowed ever so slightly until they began to gleam like sapphires, an almost unnatural colour against the golden hair and the white skin. "Yes", she repeated absent-mindedly. "I suppose it does."

In gorgeous irony, the potential benefits of being related to the Malfoys- of one Malfoy in particular- was just the topic that had cost Narcissa several sleepless nights in the last months. Ever since the start of the term, she had furtively watched Lucius and Severus whenever possible, half because of her crush on Lucius, half out of real interest, but to her constant irritation she couldn't find a satisfying explanation for her observations. Given the fact that the two of them obviously spent some time of the holidays together, she had supposed them to be fairly close, but then Lucius never bothered to help Severus when Sirius and his friends molested him nor did he try to defend him when Snape was being mocked by his fellow Slytherins. Nevertheless, she thought she detected some underlying tensions in the looks they exchanged in the Great Hall at meals, some strange mixture of affection and hostility.

She bit her lip pensively. If living with her lunatic relatives had taught her anything it was that you might fight with your kin, disapprove of them, even hate them, but there was a bond between you still. As much as she and Andromeda disagreed on all topics of importance, no matter how often Bellatrix and Sirius quarrelled over everything and nothing, their nerves, their sinews, their very hearts were somehow intertwined, for better or for worse.

Perhaps that it was the same between Lucius and Severus.

Thoughtfully Narcissa began to twist a strand of her shimmering hair around her finger. "How are Lucius and Severus related anyway?" she asked her neighbour in a deliberately careless tone. "They are cousins, aren't they?"

Evan nodded. "Their mothers were sisters as far as I know. Princes. But Lucius is not very proud of the relationship since his aunt married a muggle, one hears."

Narcissa´s fingers abruptly stopped to play with her hair. "A muggle?" she echoed sharply.

"Shocking, isn't it." Evan grinned. "Well, the gossip died out eventually when Lucius´s mother died, so it's no big surprise that you haven't heard about this. But if you ask me, it's always good to know as much as possible about your housemates. Especially when it's bad news, don't you agree?"

"Yes", the blonde returned slowly. "Yes, I do."

When Rodolphus, Julien, and the rest of the usual Slytherin gang returned from Quidditch practice about half an hour later, Narcissa quickly bid Evan good night and stole out of the Common Room. She hated to be crowded - Merlin knew that she got enough of that at home - and besides, there was no way she would spent an entire evening watching Bellatrix and Rodolphus´s pathetic attempts at flirtation. Her lips thinned. It wasn't that she particularly disliked the younger Lestrange - she found him far too boring to bother thinking much about - but the way Bellatrix´s sea storm eyes lost their restlessness when they fell on him, the smiles that swept over her lips with more and more regularity in his presence unsettled her. This part of Bella had always been reserved for her alone and Narcissa never had been fond of sharing. No matter what it was.

Wistfully she allowed herself to sink into memories of her childhood days, of the first weeks after her parents´ death: How Bellatrix had worn her sorrow like armour. Even after so many years Narcissa could still recall the security she had felt when she grasped her sister's hands, the way she had thought that nothing would ever be able to harm her as long as Bella stood by her side. For a moment she allowed herself to savour the sweetness of the memory, then she shook her head firmly. Well, everything ended sometimes right? Besides, she wasn't the only one who had lost someone they loved.

_"Lucius's mother died."_

Dolefully she headed for the dorms, for the first time in her life regretting that she never participated in gossip. How could she have missed such important news? There were so many questions this information raised. How did Mrs Malfoy die? What was her relationship with her son? Did Lucius sometimes still miss her? And what did he think about his aunt, Severus´s mother, who had disgraced the family in such a horrible way?

Deep in thought she was climbing down the steps toward her room, when the inevitable finally happened. She'd barely gone two steps across the cold stone floor when black robe entered her line of vision. It was too late to prevent her from running into their owner, who emitted a small grunt of surprise. Narcissa froze as she recognized the deep, oddly agreeable voice.

Trying hard to swallow her heart, which had risen to her throat at the sound, she stepped back and slowly looked up into the cold grey eyes of Lucius Malfoy.

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"This is getting ridiculous, Lucius!" Rabastan Lestrange grumbled, rubbing his aching arms ruefully. "You're making us practice every day until our limbs are hanging loose, and now you want to charm the brooms, too?"

Lucius sighed very distinctly. "I don't know how many times you still have to hear it, but I need to win this match, all right?" Pressing his lips into a tight line, his light grey eyes began to glitter dangerously. "It's my last year as a captain, and I'll be damned if Gryffindor beats us in the competition for the Quidditch cup!"

"Oh, so it's the Malfoy pride that we're all sacrificing the use of our limbs in later life for, yes?" Rabastan snorted. "Forgive me if I say so, but you're getting quite paranoid about this, Lucius."

"If you don't want to win, you don't have to play, Lestrange", the blond returned in a smug voice the other one knew was designed, tailored and patented to provoke. "That's the good thing about being Quidditch captain, I can just throw you off the team."

The dark-haired boy glared murderously at him. "Smartass", he growled. "But for your information, Malfoy, Slytherin has won every single game against Gryffindor for as long as I can think back. They were never anything of a threat, so why the hell do you bother?"

"Because they didn't have Potter on the team back than", Lucius pointed out, his eyes flashing derisively at the thought of Gryffindor´s new chaser. "And as much as I detest the brat, I have to admit that he's a natural on his broomstick."

"So?"

"So I need every sort of assurance I can get that we'll definitely win Saturday."

Rabastan gave a long-suffering sigh. He could detect a steely note in the his friend's voice, and knew that there would be virtually no way of talking Lucius out of it, whatever it was. "So what exactly are we going to do?" he asked resignatedly.

"I knew I could count on you", the Malfoy heir stated in a satisfied voice. "Well, the plan is to charm your and my brooms to move faster. We can zip around and they'll spend most of their time chasing us."

"Faster?" Rabastan repeated incredulously. "You've already got a Firebird, Lucius, the best there is in the market and so have I. We're bound to get caught if we get any faster."

"Try to think things out for once, Lestrange, it's not that hard a thing to do." A note of impatience had stolen itself in Lucius´s normally silky voice. "Exactly because everybody already expects Firebirds to be good, nobody will notice that they function a bit better than it should be."

It took the other boy one moment before he grasped that concept. "A point for you", he admitted reluctantly. Then he sighed deeply and raised both his palms in mock surrender. "Okay, I´m in. Are we going to tell the others about it, too?"

Lucius waved his hand dismissively. "I don't see the point of that. Wilkes, Rookwood and Travers would just want their brooms to be charmed as well while your little brother would indubitably run to his beloved Bellatrix Black and tell her about everything."

"What do you want, he is absolutely smitten with the girl", Rabastan argued reasonably. "Besides you wouldn't have to worry about Bella spilling out something - she'd be just too happy to see her cousin's best friend humiliated. A strange bunch, the Blacks", he added with a grimace.

Lucius´s expression closed itself almost indisctinctibly. "What old pureblood family isn't?" he returned casually. A flicker of cold swam shortly through the cold grey eyes like a sliver of lightning through a sea of storm clouds for a moment and then hid itself again. "Anyway, I'm going to take a long relaxing bath in the prefects bathrooms now. What about you?"

"Nah, I still have to finish some homework for McGonagall. Better not giving her any reason to get angry at me." For a moment, Rabastan shuddered at the mental image, before he shook his head again. "Well, I'll see you later for the brooms, alright?"

Lucius watched his friend retreat into the dungeons, an unreadable expression on his face. Not until Lestrange had reached the next corridor, he allowed himself a smug little smile. As much as he hated to admit it, he really wanted the other boy to come with him and help him out with the brooms - Rabastan was good with spells, and he would serve as a useful lookout.

His smile widened when he imagined the Quidditch cup in his hands again, an ambition that would almost certainly come true with the Emendarus Charm Severus had found in some of his books. He had to thank his cousin for his help in this matter, he really had to. The only problem, he added wryly, was that Severus would never accept any thanks from him. Not anymore.

Thoughtfully he turned to the steps that lead out of the dungeons. How much was he to blame that the little boy that used to follow him around what seemed only like yesterday had turned into this bitter, solitary adolescent? It was a question that wasn't haunting Lucius for the first time and so didn't notice the smaller person in front of him until she bumped quite unceremoniously into him.

It took him just one moment to recognize the familiar shock of long golden hair. "Narcissa Black", he said, a hint of surprise echoing in his voice. "What are you doing here?"

A pair of deep blue eyes flashed up to him. "Heading to my dorm", the girl answered, stepping back a bit. "Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going."

There it was again, the cold, unaffected tone that had immediately and quite irrationally caught his interest from the first time he heard her voice. Normally Lucius prided himself on the ability to read people quite well, but this twelve-year-old girl was a complete enigma to him. It was impossible to know what she thought when her eyes wandered over his sweaty Quidditch outfit.

"Don't worry about it", he said when the silence began to become uncomfortable.

Her hair fell partly across her face, veiling her smile, the curve of those perfect lips. "I won't", she shot back with wry sarcasm. "Though it would have been quite inconvenient for me to have hurt the Quidditch captain before the first play of the season."

The corner of his lips quirked. "Where is your respect for your elders, Black?" he teased her good-humouredly. "Perhaps I should have a word with the new Ravenclaw prefect about her little sister's rude behaviour."

A smothered chuckle emerged from his delicately shaped mouth when he saw her wrinkling her nose at this. He had not needed Rabastan´s reminder to know that the Slytherin Blacks weren't on good footing with their relatives in Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, it was kind of obvious. Nevertheless it satisfied him to have gotten a response out of her. She might have been but twelve years old, but she was already feared for her coldness in the whole school. The "Ice Queen" was a frequently used nickname as far as he was informed.

He let his eyes wander over the girl's fragile figure. If Narcissa hadn't had the good luck to be endowed with an effortless elegance and a quite devasting beauty, she would have spent her life as an outsider like his little cousin. Yet being the person she was, her natural solitude and her distant reserve all added to a sense that she was a unique individual, not to be judged by anyone's standards but her own, whatever those might be.

He smiled slightly. None of the Blacks was exactly normal, but this strange, graceful young girl topped them all. Golden hair, a woman's mouth in a child's face, and impossible dark blue eyes shimmering mesmerizingly under long silken lashes - that had been his first impression of her when she had entered Hogwarts last year, but he had learned that there was more to her than that. Wistfully he recalled their encounter in Diagon Alley one and a half months ago. That was the first time he had actually bothered to look more closely at Andromeda and Bellatrix´s Black little sister and he had noticed the determined line of her chin, the pulling away in her expression, the obvious desire to leave and go off alone.

Lucius had never been a boy that was easy to surprise, but this girl, five years his junior, and the cold, self-sufficient strength in her eyes had managed to arise his curiosity.

He suddenly made a decision. She was young, true enough, but there was a depth in her eyes, a small, flickering light far behind her cold shell that mocked her age. A living riddle, this Narcissa Black, and Lucius had never been able to resist a challenge.

Besides, it would hurt no one if he spent a bit of his time on this little second year, right? Not to mention that, as a free bonus, it would undoubtedly irritate her saintly Ravenclaw sister to no end.

His lips twitched at the delicious image of an angry Andromeda Black demanding to know what his business was with her little sister. "Unproved suspicions, my dear? I don't think this is the worthy behaviour for a prefect."

That did have possibilities, oh yes.

"Well, Black", he drawled eventually, softening the strictness of his voice with the irresistible laughter in his eyes. "I expect you to be on the Quidditch pitch Saturday. It's the last thing you can do to make up for your carelessness tonight."

She looked at him strangely. In the flickering lights of the dungeons, her eyes had turned an unusual shade of blue - the colour of the ocean before the squall. "I suppose it's my duty as a fellow Slytherin to turn up and support the team, every once in a while", she answered carefully.

Lucius smiled. "Nice to know that you care."

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To be continued...


	5. Quidditch

AN: Not the longest or best-written chapter, but I will try to make it up next time...

**Chapter 5: Quidditch **

Despite the heavy autumn rain, Narcissa Black found herself sitting on the Quidditch pit the following Saturday. She had chosen the seats next to Bellatrix and her friends, but already began to regret her decision. In contrast to herself, her sister was a faithful Quidditch fan, a fact she had to emphasize with countless outburst of either joy or fury that were causing Narcissa a headache. She could absolutely not understand the fuss her sister tended to make over Quidditch - but then, Bella was fiercely loyal to whatever stupid cause she choose to follow and ever since her blossoming relationship with Rodolphus Lestrange, the Slytherin chaser, her Quidditch euphoria was worse than ever.

"Go, Slytherin, go, go! Go, Slytherin, go!" Bellatrix shouted at top of her lungs at exactly this moment, causing her little sister to frown.

"Go, Slytherin, go, go. Go, Slytherin, go." Fergus Avery said a little less enthusiastically.

"Blah blahbla, blah blah. Blah blahblah", Evan said, rolling his eyes.

Severus read a book.

"We'll hit ´em again, we'll hit ´em again, we'll hit ´em one more time."

"We'll castrate them using blunt knives", Evan cried, causing several people nearby to turn and glare. "We'll gouge out their eyes and swallow them like oysters!"

Severus glanced up from his book and gave his roommate a pained look. Before he could make a sarcastic comment, however, the crowd began to sing again, becoming rhythmic and more mesmerizing.

"Beat Gryffindor, beat Gryffindor, beat Gryffindor."

Evan jumped up, clenching his fists. "I vow total destruction to everyone from Gryffindor. Slaughter them! They are the epitome of evil and must be wiped away from the face of the earth. Forget Quidditch, we'll bomb the bastards. We'll make slaves of their children and whores of their woman."

Bellatrix turned her head in his direction, her mouth twisted into an irritated scowl. "Could you please try to take it as seriously as it is, Rosier?" she hissed, a flush climbing up her delicate cheekbones.

"I don't know what your problem is, Bella", Evan replied pleasantly. "I am just trying to get into the whole fascist-barbarian-fundamentalist school-spirit thing."

Bellatrix´s eyes began to sparkle dangerously, but fortunately Rabastan Lestrange scored at this moment and the girl forgot her anger instantly.

A good thing, Narcissa decided. She would definitely not like to sit next to her sister if Slytherin was loosing a Quidditch match. Gryffindor vs. Slytherin always raised a furore each year whenever it rolled by. It was the most potentially explosive match in the season, and House pride ran unusually high as the age-old rivalry was taken onto the pitch and battled out with feverish ardour. Red and green, silver and gold; those were the only colours flying that day. The Gryffindor lion and the Slytherin serpent seemed to glower at each other from opposite ends of the pitch. It hadn't been quite as climactic as it used to be, though - in recent years, Gryffindor had been, mercifully put, steamrollered.

This year, however, was different. It was common knowledge to everyone that James Potter was an extremely gifted flyer – so far, Gryffindor had never suffered a defeat with him on the team. But right at the moment it seemed like the Serpent's House was winning due to Lucius´s and Rabastan´s reckless flying.

So far, the two Slytherin dominated the game. They were faster than anyone and scored almost minutely.

Well, knowing that they flew the fastest brooms on the market, this was hardly a surprise, but then so did James Potter and yet he kept being outsmarted by Lucius and Rabastan.

Her eyes narrowed. Strange.

She searched for James Potter at the sky. The boy's facial expression was a mixture of irritation and anger when he tried to keep in touch with Rabastan who outflew him easily.

Really strange, indeed. Rabastan was definitely faster than James and yet they were riding the same broom mark. It was almost as if…

A cold, calculating smile broke out on her face when she suddenly understood.

So this is how you like to play your game, Lucius… 

Lucius Malfoy felt a wave of euphoria when he landed on the Quidditch pit. They had won the game and therefore the Quidditch cup. It didn't matter to him that they had done so by cheating, he only felt the triumph of a victorious soul.

Bellatrix Black was hugging Rodolphus and shrieking like a banshee. "Oh, you were marvellous, you were absolutely fantastic."

Lucius smirked. "I grant you realize that there were also other players on the field, Bellatrix?"

Bellatrix´s dark eyes flashed challenging at him. "Well, Malfoy, don't expect me to be waving a banner with your name on it."

Lucius smirked. He had never gotten along very well with Bellatrix Black. She was arrogant, malicious and an all-out bitch to just about everyone. Even as a first year, the girl's dominant family looks and her seductive attitude had lured her into trouble almost every other day and Lucius hated it when things went out of control. He liked stability, steadfastness and a sense of reliability. Bellatrix was none of those things. She was a beautiful and talented witch, true enough, but she loved chaos and made no effort to hide anything about herself.

Totally unlike her little sister.

He looked around and finally detected Narcissa, a lonely, exquisitely beautiful figure between all the other faceless younger Slytherins. Like always, he could not fathom what she was thinking.

He leisurely went at her side. "So you came."

"So I did."

The cool, uninterested tone of her voice made him smile. "You don't seem very excited."

"I am not much into Quidditch."

"I see." Suddenly an idea popped into his head. "Well, Narcissa, since you took the pain to watch the game, what do you say about sitting at the winners´ side tonight."

She nodded solemnly. "Sounds fine for me."

Narcissa was very aware of the glances people shot her. After all, it was not an ordinary occasion that a second year was sitting with the Kings of Slytherin. Giving the looks, both her sisters were shooting at her, she would have to answer a lot of questions after that evening, but right at the moment, she could not care less. She suddenly did not feel like the third Black sister any longer, but like an individual, not judged by comparison, but her own deeds. It felt surprisingly satisfying.

She glanced at Lucius, who was sitting at her side leisurely talking to Rabastan Lestrange. He looked very relaxed, a winner not at all bothered by the knowledge that he won by cheating.

But then, she could relate to him. She was fiercely competitive herself, almost to the point of being pathological. She never felt ashamed of using dirty tricks when playing Exploding Snap with Andromeda or Regulus. She just felt that if her opponent was dumb enough to fall for her tricks, he did not deserve any better.

"Lucius?" A sugar sweet voice asked out of nothing. "You don't mind me sitting here, do you? But all the other chairs are taken."

Narcissa looked up sharply. In front of her was Ellen Rookwood, a stunningly beautiful fifth year, who was staring at the Malfoy heir with a broad smile on her face. Looking down the table, Narcissa met the eyes of a cluster of Slytherin fifth-year girls, all looking as though they were trying very hard not to laugh. They were all sitting exactly one place closer to Lucius than they would normally, apparently forcing Ellen to sit on his right-hand side, opposite Rabastan. She noticed that the sultry-eyed Slytherin was looking decidedly coolly at the pretty witch. Interesting.

"It's a pleasure," Lucius murmured, in that soft undertone which captivated Narcissa every time he heard it.

The blonde managed to screen out most of what was being said; she always found that dialogue was the least important thing when watching people together. More telling was the way Lucius looked at Ellen – not with feeling but undoubtedly with interest. Ellen on the contrary was clearly flirting; wide eyes, expressive mouth.

The light shimmered on Ellen's indecently thin silk robes, making them almost translucent, revealing tantalising glimpses of smooth pale skin. Her long honey coloured hair was pulled up in an elegant twist while her makeup was impeccably done; rouge added a faint splash of artificial life to her pale cheeks, her lips were painted a deep burgundy, and her chilling amber eyes were intricately lined with kohl. A velvety cloak the colour of red whine encircled her slender frame. In this moment, she laughed throatily, leaning slightly forward, hand brushing Lucius's chest as if by accident. Narcissa bit her lip as Lucius leaned forward himself, hand sliding towards Ellen's bare shoulder, almost too stealthy to notice.

"I hope you were enjoying the match?" he was asking her in a conspiratorial tone.

"Oh, you were marvellous today", Ellen all but cooed the words. "The way you flew, it was…inspiring."

The blonde almost snorted. Inspiring, yes?

Instead of interrupting the conversation, she turned to Rabastan and gave him a wide, innocent smile. "I noticed that you were very fast", she said softly yet loud enough for Lucius to hear her. "You kept outsmarting Potter all the time although you were flying the same broom mark."

She noticed Lucius tensing beside her and had to repress the urge to smile triumphantly.

Rabastan stared dumbfounded at her. "Well…obviously Potter does not have as much experience as I have", he returned carefully.

Before she could reply anything, the silken tone of Lucius´s voice made her skin prickle. "You are a very observant girl, Narcissa."

She turned around and stared into Lucius´s cold grey eyes. "I try to be."

Ellen mustered her derisively. Obviously she was not very pleased that the blonde had taken away the Malfoy´s heir interest from her. "Well of course he was faster than that Gryffindor boy, he's still just a kid." With a deep sigh, she turned back to Lucius. "Isn't it sad how dumb some of the first years are? They seem to get more ignorant with every new generation that enters the school."

Narcissa´s smile widened, a cold, calculating smile. "I don't see what youth has to do with the speed of a broom. And", she added in a sweet voice. "I'm a second year. Only a year younger than you are"

Ellen looked scandalized. "What are talking, brat! I am in my fifth year."

"Really? I wouldn't have noticed."

Lucius laughed loudly.

"Lucius" Ellen shrieked. "Surely you don't want to encourage this misbehaving brat in insulting me?"

"This misbehaving child is cleverer than will ever be, Ellen", Lucius told her derisively. The next moment he turned to Narcissa and gave her a conspiratorial smile. "So you did not find the game so very boring after all, I grant?"

Narcissa had to hold back a triumphant smile when she saw Ellen's furious face.

The rest of the evening she had the Malfoy´s heir full attention.


	6. Family Ties

**Chapter 6: Family Ties**

Early March at Hogwarts, and the sky was a deep and dramatic blue. Deceptively so, as it was cold outside, the last traces of winter in the air and, like always, the Slytherin common room resembled an ice palace. Sometimes Rabastan Lestrange thought that the fire was more to provide atmosphere than anything else, and let off an almost imperceptible greenish tinge that perfectly complemented the stone walls and elaborately carved mahogany chairs. The ideal place to sit around with a few of your friends, boasting about what you would do if you ruled the world.

Which, of course, was the favourite pastime of their clique. Only Lucius had been reluctant to join their mindless banter this afternoon. Instead he sat in the corner with Narcissa Black and chatted good-humouredly with her.

Curiously, Rabastan looked at the girl that sat in his friend's shadow. It was strange, how Lucius allowed the kid to go everywhere with him and in some instances, Rabastan could swear that he encouraged it. Sure, Narcissa Black was a pretty thing but he would never understand what the Malfoy heir saw in her. She seemed so…cold. There was something too flat and hard behind her ice blue eyes. They reminded him of mirrors reflecting a winter landscape and, to be honest, Rabastan feared the merciless wit and the frosty demeanour which the blonde used as a weapon against almost anyone who tried to approach her. It just didn't seem natural for a child of her age.

"Narcissa?" a shrill female voice made him jump up all of a sudden. "Are you there?"

Without further innuendo Bellatrix Black swept into the room, her dark hair wild and unkempt and her voluptuous body wrapped in her favourite blood-red robes. "Cissy", she called out to her sister, scowling in the general direction of the fireplace and not bothering to greet any of the others. "Andy and I are going to Hogsmeade. Hurry up if you want to come, too."

Narcissa nodded and stood up gracefully. "You don't mind, do you, Lucius?"

Rabastan could have sworn to the a flicker of annoyance in his friend's grey eyes, but Lucius only smiled. "Of course not. Have fun."

"Come on, Cissy", Bellatrix growled impatiently. She was glaring at her sister, but then Rabastan was quite convinced that this was Bellatrix's permanent expression as he could not remember the last time he had seen her do anything else. Sometimes he really wondered what the hell was up with this family that they could not produce halfway normal human beings. What his brother saw in her was beyond him. Oh sure, Bellatrix Black was beautiful - she was like knowledge, like sin, like forbidden fruit, something so dark and deep and luscious that you weren't possibly meant to enjoy it. She certainly had her charms but she was also unpredictable and cruel. Her relationship with Rodolphus seemed to work because his brother clearly worshipped that raven-haired vixen, and their mania fed each other. Rabastan knew, of course, about their involvement with the dark arts, but the way she would talk about it with a gleam in her dark eyes somehow scared him. It was as unsettling as her sister's coldness.

He shook his head when he saw the two Black girls leaving the room. "What a pair", he said softly.

Lucius smiled. "Indeed."

xxxxxxx

xxxxxxx

Lucius leaned back in his armchair, wondering about the jealousy he felt nagging at him when he saw Narcissa leaving with her sister.

It was definitely odd what this little girl did to him, he decided. Since the Quidditch game, he had spent a great amount of his spare time with Narcissa and to his surprise the blonde proved to be an agreeable, if not perfect companion. She did not talk much, but whenever she said something, it was something worth hearing.

Lucius never had any problem with providing friends and admirers - after all, he was a Malfoy – but he had something inside him that many could not understand, something dangerous that pushed him to find the limits to which he could aspire and Narcissa, he felt, was a lot like him, a dark soul trapped beneath a veneer of outward respectability. She might look like Innocence herself, but next to himself the youngest Black sister was the single most intelligent human being he had ever known. Cool, relentless and logical, there was nothing in any realm she could not grasp. Like himself, Narcissa saw the larger scheme of things. Like himself, she was on every count a winner.

But in spite of the obvious similarities of their characters, the likeliness of their goals and desires, there was some mysterious core to her that he lacked, some fatal flaw that often drove her to flee the school in order to walk through its large grounds for hours or to sit whole hours in a corner of the common room and to hiss curses at anybody stupid enough to approach her.

Lucius had never been easy to surprise, but this girl, five years his junior, and the cold, self-sufficient strength in her eyes managed to arose curiosity in him.

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xxxxxx

The three Black sisters were sitting in The Three Broomsticks over a cup of hot chocolate. Bellatrix was entertaining them with sinister predictions for the other guests. If she was right about only one percent of the horrors she pictured, Narcissa thought, a lot of tragedy was awaiting Hogwarts.

"Alice and Frank?" Andromeda asked, nodding at the Head Boy and Head Girl who were holding hands and looking almost ridiculously happy.

"Will die young", Bella replied nastily. "They are so dreadfully boring somebody will feel the need to finish them off."

"Bellatrix", Andy scowled, but Narcissa could see the amusement flicker in her sister's eyes. "That's not very nice."

Bellatrix shrugged. "I don't want to be nice."

"Who would ever doubt that", Andromeda retorted dryly. "I suppose this is also the deeper reason why you have yourself landed in detention for the third time this week. Honestly, Bella, did you really think criticising McGonagall´s robes in front of her was a good idea?"

The eldest Black sister rolled her eyes. "Come on, Andy. If the old hag can't handle the truth, it's hardly my problem."

Narcissa had to surpass a grin. Bella's almost brutal honesty had always been part of her problems - all the Slytherins' problems, to be precise. While Gryffindors most often didn't give any thoughts to the results of their careless chattering, Slytherin really didn't care about anyone's feelings and just came out with the unmasked truth. Longbottom, your girlfriend's fat, Lupin, you're poor, Potter, you're parents are Muggle-lovers. And isn't that funny? Narcissa wasn't one for this kind of honesty; but she didn't mind it either. After all, she was quite used to it.

Andromeda sighed. "Someday you will get into a lot of trouble, Bella."

Her older sister grinned. "Is that a promise?"

Despite herself Andy had to laugh and Narcissa sighed inwardly. She was in no mood for another argument. In fact, she was enjoying herself immensely. It was so rare these times that the sisters were together without quarrelling or fighting. "I really wonder what will become of us someday", she thought loudly. "Any ideas about that, Bella?"

A smirk appeared on Bellatrix´s rosy lips. "The Fates told me that I will make the world a better place."

For a moment there was silence.

"Are you sure you didn't...hear the Fates wrong?" Narcissa suggested delicately.

"Or perhaps go completely mad?" Andromeda added scathingly.

Bella elbowed her in the stomach, and Andy swore under her breath, fixing her elder sister with a death glare that she ignored. "As for you, Cissy, there is nothing to worry about. You are clever enough to look after yourself." The eldest Black sister winked at her. "If you keep on like that, you could be the next Mrs. Malfoy."

Narcissa frowned. "Bella, if you ever, I mean ever talk to Lucius like that, I'll swear I will kill you in your sleep!"

Bellatrix laughed. "Don't worry, I wont interfere. But take him if you want, Cissy. I will even be bridesmaid. Just don't force me to wear an ugly dress that will then rot in the back of my closet for the next fifty years. If there's one thing I'm certain of in this world, it's that I do not look good in fuchsia taffeta."

Narcissa had to laugh despite herself. "Does anyone?"

"And me?" Andromeda suddenly asked. "What do you see for me?"

Bellatrix scoffed . "You? You'll chase rainbows till the day you die. "

Andromeda chuckled at this idle threat. " Last I checked, rainbows were rather stationary and an optical illusion at that."

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "Ravenclaws. You're all irritatingly logical."

"I'm afraid science has forever ruined me, sister dear," Andromeda said, arching her back to stretch out her arms. Narcissa wasn't sure whether it was the movement or the comeback that earned her the punch in the arm. "Ow!" Andy protested. "What have I said about hitting?"

Bella stuck her tongue out at her. "Wimp."

"I prefer the term 'sensitive,'" Andromeda corrected sagely.

Bellatrix didn't answer to this and for a little while, the three sisters just laid still, letting the silence flow between them peacefully. It was odd, Narcissa thought absent-mindedly. For all their arguments, she felt nowhere on the world more at peace than in the middle of her sisters. For a moment she closed her eyes. They were always family.


	7. Memories and Farewells

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owes them all

A/N: After the sixth-chapter-long exposition, the story has skipped ahead several years - Narcissa is now in the end of her sixth year at Hogwarts. The reason being, of course, a lot of the interesting stuff she's going to get up to won't have been able to be perpetrated by anyone younger than sixteen years old.

Oh yes, and the letter is sort of stolen from one of Lucy M. Montgomery's Emily-books. Sorry for that

the people who took the time to review. Thank you all very much

Emy: Thank you very much, I am glad you like it!

P.E.E.V.S.Y.: Thanks! I am so glad that people like my Narcissa. I hope you are satisfied with this chapter

Lelir: Thank you! I hope I didn't disappoint you this time ;-)

Bellamorte: So I did ;-)

gianna (beautiful nick, by the way): Thank you so much! I am so glad that people like my Narcissa. I am rather fond of her, too.

Hello Captain: Thank you very much for your well-constructed, productive review. I am well aware that I tend to repeat myself. I try not to, but then I don't find the time to write a new chapter and when I do, it just happens- Sorry!!! I tried to avoid this in this chapter and I hope you like it.

Winni3: Thank you for your reviews. I like the idea that the Black sisters got along well at one – it makes later events more tragic ;-)

Ember Riddle: Thanks. I like this idea, too!

boxter: Thank you! The Black family fascinates me and I glad that I am not alone in this. I wish we would know more about them – I really hope Jo will write an encyclopaedia! That would make my day!

Mica-chan: beijinhos!

Huaca: Thanks: I am flattered that you think it's realistic, I really am :-)

those who liked the old story better: I am really sorry, but I got rid of the old version. It was too soap-opera for my taste and so I threw it away. Sorry!

**Chapter 7: Memories and Farewells**

The school year had ended off normally enough - or at least as normal as any year at Hogwarts could be. Sirius and his mindless friends continued their silly antics, the Bloody Baron continued to scare the first years with his ridiculous horror stories, and Severus Snape continued to be the gloomiest person that Narcissa Black had ever known.

Not much seemed to have changed in almost four years. However, as she joined the Slytherin table for breakfast on the last day of the term, sixteen-year-old Narcissa Black thought that under this surface everything was different.

Deliberately ignoring a Third Year's derisive whisper – "See, the sister of that bloodtraitor. The one that married a Mudblood" -, she sat down next to Regulus and Barty Crouch who were as usual in deep conversation with each other. Over the years, she had learned to get along quite well with her youngest cousin. But then, she really did not have any choice. After all, he was the only one of her family she could still count on.

"Where are Evan and Snape?" she inquired of her cousin as she reached for a crumpet.

Regulus swallowed a bite of sausage before responding. "Damned if I know", he answered with a shrug. "Any other day I would say that Rosier was copying some homework from his darling roommate, but as it is, I suppose they are still drying out from the leaving party yesterday."

"Isn't it sad that they are all going?" Barty Crouch shot in dully. "First Bellatrix and now Severus and Evan. Hogwarts´ll be so empty."

Narcissa and Regulus rolled their eyes simultaneously. Ever since Bellatrix had been forced to tutor the straw-haired boy in her fifth year (in a futile attempt to teach her something about responsibility), Barty had developed a strange kind of hero worship for her and everyone connected with her. It was not completely surprising when one considered his usual role models - including the cold bastard he called father, Narcissa thought contemptuously. She had only seen Bartemius Crouch Sr. once at one of her cousin Araminta´s parties, but that had been more than enough to take his measure. He was a strict, uncaring man and Bella…burning like an apparition amid solid objects, pure fire exploding suddenly in claustrophobic gloom - for all her failures, there was something irresistibly enchanting about her temper.

Of course that didn't change the fact that the constant hymns of praise for her sister were extremely annoying.

Settling back on her seat, her eyes wandered to the ceiling and its millions and millions of sparkling stars charmed to appear there. They were so bright that they almost hurt the eyes. Like always, she avoided seeking out Andromeda and Sirius - these group of stars were forever lost to her.

For a moment she had to close her eyes, remembering the bitter events of last summer. It had been raining the day her world fell apart. A slow, steady rain that poured slowly over the earth below, soaking the exposed dirt of the street and washing it streaked lid of the pavement. She would never forget the moment she found Andromeda´s letter, this blasted latter that told them the unforgivable: _"I will marry Ted Tonks."_

And a week later, Sirius had left them forever.

She would never forget these times, Bellatrix, every night secretly leaving the house and just returning in the early morning, Regulus´s eyes, constantly red from crying, and her aunt and uncle, slowly transcending into madness. She would never forget and she would never forgive.

For the last year, she had been forced to suffer the shame of her Sirius's and Andromeda´s betrayal, every day, in school and at home with a family destroyed by what they had done. Her coldness was her only defence when they taunted her in Slytherin House, when the news of Andromeda´s marriage had been spread around the school and flung in her face. Sometimes when she saw Sirius in the school grounds, she was tempted to throw an Unforgivable at him, mindless of the consequences. She had never thought that she would come to hate someone so much, but somehow her cousin had become an epitome of all that went wrong with her family.

And she clung to that hatred because if she did not feel fury, she had to admit that she missed him and Andy like hell. That thrice-cursed sister of hers, Sirius and her might have had their differences with each other, but together with Bellatrix and Regulus they had been bound together as Blacks, unified against the rest of the world. They had been family.

Now everything laid in ruins. Even Lucius Malfoy had stopped writing to her when the news of the scandal had swept around the wizarding world.

Biting her lip to control her emotions, she tilted her head back to view her favourite constellation in all its glory: The dragon.

In that strange year when Lucius had inexplicably deigned to spend the better part of his spare time with her, he had taught her quite a lot of useful little things: Easy yet effective spells that weren't even whispered in the classrooms of Hogwarts, secret ways to leave the school grounds, how to satisfy professors with essays she hadn't spent much time on. He had taught her how to dance her way in out of trouble with an innocent face, but the most important lessons, he had given her completely unconsciously. Without his ever noticing, she had learned to read his ever-guarded face, had learned to know what a narrowing of eyes or a pressing together of lips meant.

She had been a fast learner- spurred on by her obsession with the object of study.

Even when he had left school, he had not forgotten about her. Every year on her birthday, a majestic, stern looking owl delivered a beautiful little present, like the elegant silver chain she was wearing around her neck. She touched the jewellery lightly, recalling the note had accompanied it:

_Narcissa,_

_The vendor where I got this from told me that this was taken from the mummy of an Egyptian princess. According to him it laid over her heart for thousands of years and I instantly thought that it must have been a gift of love - else why should it have rested there all this time? I simply couldn't resist buying it. I send this necklace to you weighted with centuries of love and wish you a very happy birthday._

_Yours, Lucius_

Those had been the last words she had ever heard from him, all thanks to Andromeda and Sirius, no doubt.

She continued to stare up to the skies. None of them revealed any answers, or yielded any solace.

Had there been a minute or two when Lucius had genuinely cared for her? Well, she would never know. After all, their whole relationship had been born out of her own careful manipulation and a stupid mood of his. It had all been very clever on her part. Wonderfully intelligent, far outclassing even the cunniest Slytherins.

Only now, underneath it all, it had been nothing but a game for Lucius Malfoy.

Her impressive eyes darkened until they rivalled those of her family's. Lucius, the golden boy; what he wanted, he took, and she had been just another means to an end, like a new set of dress robes, or the latest model broomstick. She was a pretty girl, pretty and stupid and hanging on his lips like an infatuated child, and that had automatically made her Lucius's property.

A property that he let fall down thoughtlessly when it became spoiled.

Sometimes she thought that she might learn to hate him, too. It was easier than despair.

While Narcissa was still lost in her thoughts, Severus Snape stormed into the Great Hall, Evan Rosier trailing in his wake.

"Merlin, I can't even begin to tell you how glad I am to be getting out of this school for good!" he spat out instead of a morning greeting, sliding into a seat next to her. "The stupid leaving party was a joke! They were electing people for things like 'the one who copied most homework' and the 'biggest teacher pet', can you imagine that?!"

Evan shrugged. "I don't know, I rather liked it", he observed, seating himself next to Barty. "It sort of summed up the whole school experience - a series of surreal, semi-mystical rituals that no one understands, that very few people care about, and that always involve elements of embarrassment and discomfort."

"These were supposed to be the best years of your lives", Regulus pointed out.

"God, I hope not", Narcissa heard Severus mutter.

Evan suddenly caught her eye and winked at her. She smiled back. The green-eyed boy's flirtations were something that had become a natural part of her life over the past years - Evan would flirt with anything female, but he still reserved this special little smile only for her. It never failed to make her day better.

Beside, after Andromeda´s betrayal, there were not many pureblood boys who bothered to look at her. Narcissa knew that she had never been a person who was easy to understand, never somebody people liked to befriend, but it had never had mattered to her much – until the day people laughed at her in the halls.

Unconsciously Narcissa wrapped her hand around the slender silver chain. If only...

In this moment she noticed that Severus was peering at her intently, and she quickly let go of the chain again.

Of course it was way too late. Severus had seen, and a knowing, secretive smile began to play around his thin lips.

_I should have let Potter take your pants_, she thought nastily, turning away to take a deep sip of her pumpkin juice. _Merlin knows that it would have spared me a lot of trouble._

The incident had happened about two years ago – before all that betrayal and hatred. She hadn't meant to help Snape - it wasn't her fault that he wasn't able to handle her cousin - but something about the sight of him, dangled upside down, stripped half naked in front of nearly everyone who knew him, and mocked for no other reason other than the fact that Potter and his gang were bored, had touched some inner reserve of sympathy that she never suspected she possessed..

Of course, he also happened to be Lucius Malfoy´s cousin, who was still a factor in her life then.

Narcissa shook her head, forcing her attention the present. "How will you celebrate your graduation" she asked. "I am sure you wont let the opportunity pass by to drunk yourselves and behave like complete morons?"

"See what I adore about this girl?" Evan asked the others in a mockingly serious tone of voice. "Such verve! Such - passion!"

"Spare us, Rosier, we all know that your list of Narcissa´s good points is never-ending", Regulus shot in. "I'd rather hear what Dumbledore´s speech was about."

Severus´s eyes darkened. "The usual", she answered contemptuously. "Making choices, deciding what is right and what is wrong. I don't know why he doesn't simply say that he suspects every single Slytherin in this school is going to fall to the dark side after leaving Hogwarts."

Narcissa saw a fleeting look of uneasiness on the other faces and pressed her lips together. Her eyes drifted toward the window where a fog was pressed up against the glass like a lover. She could still recall the shuddery mixture of excitement and dread running down her spine when she had first heard about the war raging outside the protective walls of the school. It continued even now. Every day, people were dying for the sake of ideals she knew just too well. Every night the velvet midnight sky was stained with the skull and the Serpent.

Slytherin symbols.

For a moment she closed her eyes, trying to rid herself from of emotion. Slytherin had always been the darkest of the four Hogwarts Houses, always the one that was whispered to bring out more evil wizards and witches than the other tree together, but never more than these times.

_"The Dark Lord himself had been in Slytherin."_

Her face hardened. So what? She didn't care. Let them say what they wanted, she was still proud to be a part of this house - a part of the promise it held. Unlike her traitorous relatives, she had no desire to associate with those who would sully her name: Disgusting Gryffindors, laughing raucously and flaunting their morals and honour in the corridors of the school. Little that would help them, when trouble came and they fell back on their trusted alliances only to become victims of their parents' gullibility and their silly faith in the myth of inherent goodness.

Furtively, Narcissa stole a glance at Severus. Although the older boy rarely trusted her with details, she knew well enough that he had been deep into the dark arts lately and she couldn't help but ask herself, if he...

A little smirk played around her lips. She knew that any decent witch should be horrified at the very thought, but in the depths of her soul, she had to admit that there was something terribly attractive about the thought of joining this crusade for purity and power, of wrapping your arms around Death's neck and joining in his dance.

The smirk widened. After all she was a Black. The shadows were part of her by birthright.

Severus saw the look on Narcissa´s face before she hid it again and found himself wondering once more how much of his secrets the blonde already suspected. He was not fool enough to believe that she wouldn't be able to draw her own conclusions - she always had frightening talent for perception.

He almost smiled. Ever since the summer the year before, he had never spent much thought on the youngest Black, but certain events had taught him that underestimating the girl under the deceitfully sweet mask could be deadly. She didn't throw herself into temper-tantrums like her sister, didn't bully people like that bastard Sirius and she completely lacked the wilful naivety of Regulus, but there was something about her, some strange formidable power in her soul that her relatives lacked. This girl would always get what she wanted, no matter what.

For one short moment he closed his eyes, remembering the day when Narcissa had become more than simply another Black for him:

_"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"_

_James Potter held his wand out almost gleefully, intent on taking out his anger of being rejected by Lily Evans on Snape, who was still hanging pitifully in the air, his face contorted strangely, his underpants clearly visible to all gathered._

_Severus closed his eyes against the mixed cheers and sounds of disgust coming from the assemblance of students. _"No, please no",_ he thought frantically as he heard Sirius' deep chuckle. _"You had your fun, Potter. Now let me go."

_"Do it, James! Come on, do it!" Pettigrew's giddy voice came to his ears, but it was interrupted suddenly by a clear female voice._

_"I really doubt, Potter, that any of us here want to see Snape without his pants - Unless of course your fixation on Lily Evans is just a camouflage for your actual preferences." A new wave of snickers washed over the crowd, and, though Severus couldn't see beneath his upturned robes, James flushed an angry crimson. Nevertheless it was Sirius who answered to the intruder._

_"Mind your own business, Narcissa", he snapped irritated._

_Narcissa Black folded her arms across her chest and brushed back her long golden shimmering hair. "My, aren't we touchy today?" There was a note of cold amusement in her voice. "Well, as much as I hate to spoil your fun, I insist that you find yourself another toy for now, Sirius."_

_"Is that so?" The question was hissed out in a drawl, but there was no actual threat in it, rather uneasiness. Obviously, Sirius wasn't even half as comfortable about beginning a fight with Narcissa as he was with Bella. "May I know why you care about this slimy little git?"_

_His cousin smirked. "This slimy little git is supposed to tutor me for my Defence Against the Dark Arts test tomorrow", she lied smoothly. "So would you mind?"_

_Sirius continued to glare at her for another short moment, before he suddenly sighed._

_"Let him down, Prongs", he murmured beneath his breath and one moment later Severus toppled to the ground, his robes tangled over his head._

_He struggled with them for a moment before he was able to stand and brush back his limp hair from his face, frightfully pale save for two glowing dots of crimson in the middle of his cheeks. He glared at the remaining students, but most had left shortly after Narcissa had showed up, sensing that their fun was over. The blonde stood a few feet away, arms still folded casually, watching him calmly. "I suppose you'd better stand up and come with me, Snape", she said softly, almost in a purr and for a moment he hated her for her sheer, bloody-minded poise._

_Aware of her gaze, he scrounged for his scattered belongings and followed her. His dark eyes narrowed as he tried to think of any reason why the pretty fourth year might have wanted to help him, but he could think of nothing. Apart from the inevitable arguments that would arise when you live in the same house and have the same friends, they rarely ever spoke to each other and in contrast to his room mate Evan Rosier and most other male students of Hogwarts, the mere sight of her didn't raise a sudden and depressing inclination to write poetry in him. _

_As a matter of fact, he had never been quite sure about the younger girl. She was beautiful, there was no point in denying that, but there was more to her than that. Narcissa Black treated the world with cold indifference, barely acknowledging her admirers as they competed for her favours, and resolutely going her own way, wherever that might lead. She might have been the only one of the Black family who wasn't named after a star, and yet she resembled those bright lights even more than the rest of her family. Like the stars Narcissa was bathed in her own light and sufficient unto herself. _

_This didn't explain why she helped him, though._

_"How were your O.W.L.s, Snape?" she asked absently as they entered the castle._

_"Decent." His voice dripped with sarcasm. "May I ask you what this was for, Black?"_

_She looked at him coolly, twisting a strand of golden-blond hair around her finger. "Don't you think a ´thank you´ is in order, Snape?" she asked in a bored voice that made him long for his wand. "As for your question, I simply don't like seeing my cousin having so much fun. It's against my family codex."_

_Severus shot a withering glance at her, but she just continued to play with her hair, letting it fall across her face, then drawing it back again. It was infuriating._

_"Tell me, Black, why is it that I don't believe that your silly family feud is the only reason for your help?" he asked her sharply._

_Finally she met him gaze for gaze. For a moment Severus wondered if one would ever get over the shock of their blueness - all the stupid 'drowning' metaphors that Evan used finally made sense to him. "You'll never be successful with girls if you continue to be so rude", she informed him lightly. "Well, feel free to come to me and tell me how grateful you are for my rescue any time you like." _

_Severus wanted to make a scathing retort, but there really wasn't anything left to say that wouldn't make him look like a complete idiot._

_"I suppose I could actually help you for your DADA test if you want to", was what he finally came out with. It was the closest he allowed himself to an actual show of gratitude._

_Narcissa fixed him with cool blue eyes, a slow smile creeping across her face - a secret smile. "I might take you up on that offer some day", she returned softly. "For now I just want to make sure that you avoid confrontations with my cousin and his brothers-in-crime in the future. I wouldn't like to see my efforts wasted."_

_Against his will he found him smirking back. "And I wouldn't like to disappoint you."_

_He had spoken too soon. A week later, because he was stupid enough to fall for one of Sirius Black's silly challenges, he was almost killed by a werewolf._

_xxx_

_Severus stared at the ceiling of the hospital wing, asking himself again and again how he could have been so incredibly stupid. It was this question which haunted him most, not the shock of having nearly died at the hands - or rather claws - of Remus Lupin, not the humiliation of being saved by James Potter, not the painful disappointment caused by Dumbledore´s reaction, but the simply fact that he had been dumb enough to fall for Sirius Black´s challenge._

"Snivellus, Snivellus, Snivellus. How pathetic must you be to spend your nights spying on me and my friends?"

_He took a deep, thick breath and tried to push aside the pain, fear and self-hatred that toyed with his foul disposition of the last night._

_"You idiot", he whispered through tightly clenched teeth. "You goddamn idiot."_

_"Talking to yourself, Snape?"_

_He jerked around, finding him face to face with a smirking Narcissa Black who stood in the entrance of the hospital wing, eying him with an air of silent amusement. Like always, she looked perfect, a diaphanous white fabric covering her slender shoulders, shimmering slightly in the light streaming in through the windows. Severus was aware of how dark he must look, amidst all this light and the golden gleam of her hair and instantly suspected that this was exactly the reason why the girl had chosen this outfit. _

_Despite himself he felt the anger boiling in him again, threatening to take over. She had the same self-confidence as her cousin, the same bloody-minded coolness._

_Without his doing, his lips drew back into a hateful sneer. "It's about the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation these days," he answered bitingly. "What the hell do you want, Black?"_

_He practically spit out the name, yet the girl didn't even flinch. "I am bringing you your homework. McGonagall told Evan to do it, but he didn't have the time because of his last detention."_

_"How sweet", Snape barked. "Well, give me the goddamn books and bugger off."_

_"Still no ´thank you´ ?" she asked with an arched eyebrow, her voice deceitfully sweet. "Be careful, Snape, this impoliteness seems to have become a pattern with you."_

_The tone of her voice. Just like Black leaning casually against the wall, asking him in this deliberately smug voice if he wanted to know where Remus was going every month. _"I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see you."

_The anger made place to weariness. "Go away, Narcissa", he begged her quietly. "I'm not in the mood to deal with you. With any of your family, that's it, so whatever sodding mind-game you had planned for me, find another victim."_

_Her blue eyes begin to glitter in merciless curiosity. "So what has my idiot of a cousin done this time?" _

_He pushed her away with a glare. "I think I told you to go." When she didn't react, he sighed bitterly. "That's just the great thing about you, Black, you push and push until you get exactly what you want and you don't give a damn for the people you stamp upon."_

_"The secret of my success", she returned lightly, sitting down at the edge of his bed. A slight frown appeared on her lovely features as they examined him closer. "Dear Merlin you look like death itself, Severus, all you need is a scythe. What the hell happened?"_

An enormous cinnamon-coloured wolf - growling - baring its teeth - blood - ... - Lupin?!

_"Nothing of you're damn business, Black."_

_"It must have been bad if you can't even find a proper sarcastic retort anymore." Her words were still teasing, but the tone in which she spoke them was soft, and gentle, caressing over the scars Black, Potter, Lupin, Pettigrew and Dumbledore had left on his soul. For one moment he was tempted to tell her everything, to free himself from the load that had been dragged upon him. Then he remembered:_

"I expect you to keep quiet about what happened tonight, Severus."

"Keep quiet? KEEP QUIET?! But, Headmaster, Black tried to kill me!"

"My dear boy, surely you must understand that this hasn't been Sirius's intention at all. Of course he has made a mistake, a great mistake, but..."

"A mistake?! Would you say the same thing if he attempted murder on one of your precious Gryffindors?!"

"Severus, please believe me when I say that I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I must insist on two facts: Sirius won't be expelled and you won't speak a word about that incident to anyone. There'll be no further discussions on this."

_Severus closed his eyes in mental agony. "Let's simply talk about something else, okay? Anything, but what happened last night."_

_For one moment he thought she would continue her questions but then she nodded. "I shouldn't have asked at all. It's none of my business." There was more genuine emotion in her voice than he'd ever seen from either of her relatives, and somehow it made her seem more real, less of a blonde, blue-eyed stereotype of the infamous Black family._

_"It doesn't matter," he said gamely. Again, he peered intently at her, trying to figure out her motives for being here. Certainly not for bringing him his homework, she wouldn't fool him on that, not this bird with her blooming clever face and her calculating brain._

_She was sitting very calmly with her long pale hair cascading over her shoulders, her flawless, ice-cold features unreadable. Strangely, she reminded him of Lucius all of a sudden. Both were beautiful and hard at the same time, all smooth smiles and subtle seduction and under a faint flicker of wit and an attraction that was both harsh and utterly desirable. No wonder that his cousin had developed a weak spot for her in his last year at school, they indubitable were one of a kind._

_"How was your DADA test last week?" he asked out , grasping for a safe topic of conversation.._

_She shrugged. Her eyes were still resting on him with frightening intensity. "Easy enough. I might not be a wandering encyclopaedia of forbidden curses like you, but I never had much trouble with Defence against the Dark Arts either."_

_He smirked slightly. "Seems to run in the family", he began, but stopped himself quickly again. God, Bellatrix would kill him if he told her cherished little sister that they were..._

_"Please, Snape", the blonde drawled in a bored voice, crossing her silk-stocking-clad legs with this almost inhuman grace that only members of her blasted family could master. This time, Severus was again reminded of Sirius -- and of Bellatrix. The not-so-hidden wickedness concealed by a beautiful face was very much like Bella's. "Just because my sister doesn't tell me what you guys are up to, doesn't mean that I cannot tell for myself."_

_His eyes narrowed. "What are you implying?"_

_"Simply that I'm a Black", Narcissa returned, an expression of wistfulness flitting across her face like a shadow, gone before Severus could confirm it. "Make out of that what you want."_

_She was playing with a necklace, he suddenly noticed; a thin silver chain with a small blue flower hanging from it - letting it run through her fingers, twining it around her wrist, rather in the manner of a young girl playing 'he loves me, he loves me not'. _

_His eyes widened. He knew this necklace. He was there when it was purchased. He remembered grey eyes sparkling with amusement. _"Do you think she might like this?"

_A wide smirk appeared on his lips. "I'm sure my cousin would be pleased to see how much you like his latest birthday present", he said shrewdly and with satisfaction he noticed the quick, almost imperceptible intake of breath the girl took. The riddle was solved._

_"My, my, my." Now that he felt on surer footing, his natural malice came back to him. "Almost three years that you haven't seen Lucius and still you aren't over your silly little crush on him. That's definitely the most pathetic thing I've ever heard."_

_He had expected fury or even denial, everything but this short mirthless laughter. "Merlin, Snape", she said softly, using her words like weapons as she gently caressed them to her own cause. "You really have an inferiority complex over that cousin of yours, don't you?"_

_He felt a little pang of hurt at this, mostly because there was a hint of truth in her words. Yes, everything his cousin wanted, he got - and it drove Severus mad. Of course, Lucius was the Malfoy family's only son, while he was just a poverty-stricken relative of no particularly well known name, but nevertheless it didn't seem fair how easily everything came to him. Maybe it was the blond hair, or the pretty, thoughtful grey eyes, so skilful in hiding what he was actually thinking, Severus didn't know. He just knew that he wouldn't take this from a girl who had just approached him for the sake of this disgustingly golden cousin of his, who wasn't all that golden if you knew his entire family history- _

_"That was cruel of me, I'm sorry." It took him a moment to realize that she had actually spoken those words. ,_

_For a very long moment he stared at her. Then he smiled. "We're both not very good when it comes to dealing with people, are we, Black?" he eventually returned. This time the name was spoken almost with respect. "And I think that the visiting hour is over by now."_

_With a little nod, she stood up, again the cold, distant girl he knew. Before she reached the door, she turned around once more, however. "I didn't just help you because of Lucius...not just because of him."_

_"How touching."_

_The smile didn't make its way to her lips, just haunted her eyes for a moment. "I'll see you around."_

And that was the whole story which had changed everything between them.

Severus threw a last glance at Narcissa. Like so often, the blonde's face seemed still, determined, beyond anyone's influence, tenderness or concern.

Despite himself, a little smile formed itself on his lips.

He knew that Narcissa was calculating and self-serving and even ruthless when she felt she had to be. He knew that she was impatient with anyone less gifted than herself, that she exploited the insecurities she brought out in other people. But he also knew that underneath it all, sometimes way underneath it all, the youngest Black was a decent human being. If he were ever in trouble, tomorrow or ten years from now, he could count on her to help.

Of course she'd bitch about it a little first.

xxx

xxx

I might not be able to post another chapter for quite a time. I am sorry about that but I promise to finish that story (although I might be old and wrinkled in the end…)


	8. Conversations

AN: Thank you soooo much for your reviews! It´s just a really small chapter (well, not really a chapter but two conversations), but I hope you enjoy it

**Chapter 8: Conversations **

"So, what is my little Cissy doing up this late at night?"

Narcissa looked up briefly as her sister sauntered into the dining room with a satisfied smirk on her face. Like often in the course of the last year she wondered when Bellatrix had lost the ability to smile without that cruel twisting of her lips.

"I couldn´t sleep", she answered shortly. "Where have you been? Its well past midnight."

Instead of answering, Bellatrix stepped closer to her, invading her personal space in a way that made Narcissa long to step back - which she of course refused to do. "What´s the matter, Bella?" she snapped, "I am just drinking a bloody cup of tea. That´s not forbidden, is it?"

"Why, Cissy, that was almost. . .emotional", Bellatrix cooed in an unnerving sing-song voice. "I was just expressing some sisterly concern. That´s not forbidden, too, is it?"

Narcissa snorted, the late hour and her state of mental exhaustion catching up with her. "You are not exactly known for sisterly concern, Bella, and I am certain that I don´t need it. Is that all, then?"

"Why so hostile, Cissy? You almost make me think that you are hiding something from me."

The blonde laughed mirthlessly. "You are the one to speak," she retorted in a bitter voice. "Do you really think that I don´t notice your little evening strolls? You are behaving weirder than Andromeda the last summer when she…"

"Don't you _ever_ speak _her_ name in front of me again!"

Narcissa turned around and froze. Bellatrix had a look on her face that the blonde had never seen on her before. For a moment she struggled to hold the midnight gaze, but the burning light in Bella´s black eyes worried her more than any of her sister´s previous behavior. Something in these eyes, something essential, was missing.

Slowly, Narcissa's brain was staggering to its feet. Salvage. She had to salvage. Had to draw on every skill at lying and fudging she'd cultivated over the years, because Bella was not to know how much she was scaring her. "I am sorry, Bella. I didn´t mean to upset you," she said softly although her heart was racing in fearful anticipation. "It´s just…so much has changed."

That unholy light in Bellatrix's eyes seemed to fade a bit. "Yes. Much has changed." She stood up and reached out one hand to pat Narcissa´s cheek, the gesture entirely too bizarre to be counted as fond. The Black family was not known for being demonstrative in the slightest and if one of them reached a hand out towards you, chances were that affection was not intended. "All this betrayal", Bellatrix murmured. "But one day no family will be torn apart by muggle lovers and blood traitors anymore. One day we will all be pure again."

The softly glowing light cast a sinister pall around her sister, enshrouded in that black cloak. Her head turned towards her, and Narcissa _did_ take a step back this time.

"Where have you been, Bella?" she whispered, unable to hold back the question anymore. "What have you done?"

A wistful smile broke out on Bellatrix´s features. "What has to be done", she answered simply. Then she shook her head fiercely. When she looked up again, Narcissa saw her sister as she knew and loved her - lively, energetic and free - without that strange dark destiny she seemed have wrapped herself in just moments ago. "But let´s speak about something else." Now she was sparkling with joy and not with cruelity. "I want you to be the first one who knows: I am going to marry Rodolphus."

"Oh." Narcissa didn´t quite know how to react to this sudden change of mood. The one minute Bella had been a stranger, her eyes replaced with cold demonic fire and now she was grinning like a teenage girl. "That´s . . . great."

Bella beamed. "Yes. I always knew that I would marry him someday and yesterday we decided that we didn´t want to postpone it any longer. Oh, Cissy, I am so happy. Will you be my bridesmaid?"

Narcissa stared into her sister´s face. Suddenly she understood what she was missing in the dark eyes: nothing in them denoted innocence. _The eyes of a killer_, she thought and shuddered. Then she forced herself to smile. "I´d love to", she exclaimed, adapting her sister´s enthusiasm.

"Then it´s settled. Merlin, I´m tired. Night, Cissy."

"Goodnight, Bellatrix."

Bellatrix walked out of the room, disappearing in the shadows. Narcissa waited for the tell-tale _crack_ that bespoke of her sister's departure, then she climbed the stairs to her own bedroom, her mind a whirl. Sitting at her vanity to drag a brush through her hair, her eyes raked over her reflection, which was an odd mix of exhaustion and fear.

She wanted to think about the wedding, about the dress she would wear, but found she was unable to concentrate on these trivialities as all she could see in her mind was the mad, maniacal look on Bella´s face.

_Does this mean I have lost both of my sisters?_

xxx

xxx

It was dark in the library of Malfoy Manor, and it smelled like dead leaves - a faint, dry sort of smell that suggested the room to be very rarely used. The windows were closed, the curtains usually drawn during the day to protect the precious and rare volumes from the debilitating effects of sunlight. The only illumination came from flickering lamps mounted on the walls every few paces, not nearly enough to read by.

Severus Snape, however, seemed to feel rather homely in this room, for he looked rather sourly when he noticed the man standing in the doorway. "Lucius", he sighed, his black eyes as cold and depthless as usual, the ever-present sneer stretched across his lips. "What the hell do you want? Heaven forbid you should actually be looking for something to read."

Lucius smirked slightly. "What can I say? I always preferred praxis over theory." His cold grey eyes scanned over the table in front of his younger relative. It was totally covered with page after page of notes taken in Severus´s neat, methodical handwriting. He hadn't been working that hard when he had graduated from Hogwarts, that was for sure. The smirk deepened. He didn't even work that hardly now. "So much to do?"

Once again Severus sighed heavily, obviously comprehending that his cousin wouldn't leave him to his solitude that easily. "For your information, Lucius, not everybody gets a satisfying job just for the sake of his pretty family name", he answered bitingly. "And now answer my question. What do you want?"

Lucius smiled indulgently. "Mind your tone, Severus", he warned his cousin in a dangerously soft voice. "My house, my rules."

"Your house!" His cousin snorted disdainfully. "You mean your father's house. And I certainly wouldn't have come if he were here!"

The blond shook his head as he pulled away from Severus's drowning glance and looked up once more at the book shelves before him. "I know", he said quietly.

Both were silent for a moment, lost in old, bitter memories, but none of them pushed the topic further. There were rules they both observed, boundaries they did not cross. Especially when it came to their families.

"So again, what could you possibly want from me?" The black-haired boy broke the silence after a while in a forced nonchalant tone. He steepled his long ugly fingers. "Let me guess. You've found someone to torture."

A little smile appeared on Lucius's delicate lips. "You are confusing me with your friend Bellatrix Black", he returned smoothly and sat down opposite his cousin. The lamps in the library flickered slightly, casting a shadow over his handsome face. "Apropos Bellatrix", he continued in a deliberate casual voice while observing his cousin very carefully. "Did you hear that she and Rodolphus Lestrange are planning to marry this summer? You´re invited, too."

"No I didn´t." Severus wrinkled his long nose in mild irritation before he finally closed the book in front of him. "Well, it was probably just a matter of time with them."

Lucius smiled thinly. "Probably. Poor Rodolphus. I can´t imagine to live with that harpy."

"You can´t imagine to live with anybody, Lucius." Severus smiled unpleasantly. "By the way, whatever happened to Stella Zabini? Wasn´t she to be the next Mrs. Malfoy?"

"So she thought."

The younger man snorted. "You're truly an heartless bastard, Lucius!"

Insults returned Lucius to firmer ground. "A loveable heartless bastard," he corrected, grinning charmingly though his eyes were cold, dispassionate. "And it´s not my fault if young women get carried away with their wishes."

"Forgive me, Lucius, but your morals have always been rather ambiguous when it comes to things you want."

This time the blonds smile was cruel, not an attempt to humour their situation. "Morals are subjective, as you should well know, my dear cousin", he returned scathingly. "But please give me more tips on human interaction. I hear you're so good at it."

Severus shook his head again, and turned away, obviously seething with anger. He started pulling books off the desk, stacking them haphazardly in his arms, just wanting to be out of the room as soon as possible. All of a sudden Lucius placed a hand gently on his shoulder, tension made tangible. A gentle pull, turning him around to confront him with those icy grey eyes. "Listen to me. This isn't something we have to fight over. I only wanted to inform you about the wedding! I was one of the first ones to know."

Severus looked up sharpy. "One of the…but since when are you so close to them?"

"This is the other thing why I came to you. " Lucius leaned closer, letting a thin shaft of sunlight from the heavily-veiled windows play on his hair, turning it the colour of dawn on frost. "You see, I wonder, Severus. You were always so…ambitious…like Rabastan, Rodolphus, Bellatrix, myself and others…so very ambitious…"

"I still am", the boy interrupted him roughly. "I still am."

Lucius smiled. It was not a very pleasant smile. "Good", he said. "Because there is somebody who likes to meet you."


	9. Changes

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot

A/N: Look! Look! It's not dead! Sorry for the, err, teensy little month lack of updates. And thank you all so much for the reviews. They were really a great encouragement!

**Chapter 6: Changes**

Magnificently white and situated in the heart of England's countryside, the Lestranges family mansion Shadowbarrow Hall, possessed an air of wealth and conformity Narcissa Black found dreadfully boring. She wouldn't deny the fact that the manor was picturesque in both style and setting, but nevertheless she missed Grimmauld Place's cold mystery and the inviting darkness she knew from there. Her home in London might lack beauty, but as far as she was concerned, this majestic cage lacked character.

Yet, she would not dare to voice those thoughts, no less on the wedding day of her favourite sister.

While she was strolling around the rose gardens, she suddenly heard a voice calling her name.

Swiftly turning around, she found herself eye to eye with a familiar grin.

"Evan?" she asked incredulously. "What the hell are you doing here? The ceremony will only begin in two hours."

"I just managed to escape the wrath of my mother. She's a good friend of Mrs. Lestrange. We came earlier to help. Or, well, to gossip, actually." Loosening his tie and tugging it off, the boy stretched out, cat-like, and relaxed. "By the way, why aren't you with your sister?"

Narcissa rolled her eyes. "Bella has her hair done and is driving everybody insane. I just needed a break."

Evan grinned. "Merlin knows, if Bella were my sister, she would have driven me insane long ago. And not because of her hair."

Narcissa had to smile against her will. "Well, it's not as though I have much of a choice."

The boy raised an eyebrow. "Pardon?"

"There is nobody else left."

The moment she had spoken those words, she knew that they sounded more miserably than she had intended. "Sorry, I didn't want to sound like a drama queen."

Evan looked at her for an uncomfortably long moment. "I'm sorry about your family, Cissa", he said after a while, "I don't think I ever told you, but I really am."

"Oh, shut up, please", the blonde replied tiredly. "Not everything goes the way you want it to, does it?"

For a moment they were both silent, absorbed by their own thoughts. With blank eyes Narcissa stared at the flowers in front of her: Fresh roses, natural garden roses on short stems, petals lying on the waxed table - not cold magnificent florist roses, just roses that could make your hands bleed.

Evan's gaze still rested on her. "Is that why you don't like Rodolphus?" he suddenly broke the silence. "Because you're afraid of losing Bella, too?"

Noticing her astonished look, he smiled wryly. "It isn't very hard to notice your animosity towards Lestrange, you know? You're way too polite to him. None of your usual merciless wit."

Her thin ghost of a smile appeared and then evaporated again. "You know me too well, Evan", she said wistfully.

"Then I'm right??"

Confronted with the gentle green eyes, the blonde could not bring herself to answer. How could Evan understand anyway? How could anyone comprehend when even she herself didn't completely?

She had hated Rodolphus from the moment on he had set his eyes on Bella. She hated the way her sister's face changed when she looked upon him. No matter how much Bella had changed, her sister was the only thing she had left and now…

She was about to turn away, when Evan suddenly caught her hand.

"Rodolphus and Bellatrix love each other", he told her gently, his eyes studying her with a level gaze that was in itself frighteningly intense. "Sometimes love makes people do strange things."

She thought of Andromeda and like always the pain made her close her eyes for a moment. "You might be right about that", she replied bitterly.

"That doesn't mean that she stopped loving you, though", he went on, deliberately ignoring her comment. "Bella would die for you, Cis, anyone could see that... And...she's not the only one."

Narcissa caught her breath in shock, then stared unbelievingly into his luminous green eyes. They were the colour of a tempest building on the horizon, and filled with feverish hope occasionally shadowed by a flickering uneasiness. "You don't mean that." She almost didn't recognize her voice as she spoke. "You..."

"You stupid little girl", Evan whispered tenderly, drawing closer to her and tracing a finger down the soft skin of her cheek. "Isn't it painfully obvious how much I mean it?"

A strange, breathless silence filled the air as they studied one another. Narcissa's heart to pound loudly in her chest.

He was going to kiss her, the certainty of this notion shot through her head. Any moment now he would bend down and join their mouths together.

And why not, a small voice in her head pressed. Why the hell not? She had spent the last five years fantasizing over a boy way out of her league, so why not accept what Evan was offering? Why refuse this unexpected gift?

She was already closing her eyes and leaning towards him when...

"Narcissa!"

The shrill familiar voice sent Narcissa shooting away from Evan as if she'd been burned. She moved only seconds before her aunt entered the scene.

"Yes, Aunt Perdita?"

"Bellatrix needs you with the dress. Please come quickly, she's driving everyone insane."

"Of course." The blonde stood up. "You don't mind, Evan?" To her relief, her voice was not shaking.

Evan smiled. "Not at all."

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"Bella? Aunt Perdita sent me. Is everything alright?"

Bellatrix, dressed in her wedding robes, turned around slowly at the sound of her sister's voice. She had been staring in the mirror at her reflection.

"Do you really think the dress suits me, Cissy? Suddenly, I'm not so sure anymore."

"You look lovely, Bella," Narcissa said truthfully, embracing her sister. In fact, Bellatrix looked beautiful in her white dress robes with her black hair artfully arranged atop her head. She had outlined her eyes in black and worn a simple gloss on her lips. A few strands of her hair fell gently on her face, making her expression sweeter than it was. "Rodolphus won't know what hit him."

"I will not let him forget," her sister said shrewdly, then turned to grasp Narcissa´s hand lightly in her own. She smiled and for a moment Narcissa saw her sister as she remembered her from their earlier childhood. "I'm so happy, Cissy. Have you seen my bouquet?"

Narcissa hid a smile as she remembered her sister's bouquet - full of orchids and flowers that were so lush they were almost obscene. Typical Bellatrix. "Yes, I saw it earlier. The flowers will suit you perfectly."

_I wonder what kind of flowers Andromeda carried on her wedding day?_

The thought came unbidden and hurt her more than she liked to admit. Almost guiltily the blonde glanced towards her sister, wondering if Bella felt a pang of loss herself because Andromeda should be here as well.

Narcissa tried to stop herself from thinking along those lines, but her sister grabbed her arm suddenly. "Come on," she said, pulling her to the door, "time to go get married."

She met Narcissa's blue eyes unwaveringly, and there was a moment of silence between them.

"You can always come to live with us if you want, Cissy," Bellatrix said after a long time. "You will always be welcome, you know that. You are…"

Narcissa smiled one of her rare wintry smiles. "I know."

"That's good." Bellatrix laughed and closed her eyes. "It's strange. I'm so nervous and yet I am so sure of this. You know, I love Rodolphus, very much. Why, you could lock me away with him forever, and I'd be a happy girl."

Narcissa felt a brief, cold shiver of foreboding but attributed it to nerves. "Are you ready, then? Off to start your life as Mrs. Lestrange?"

Bellatrix smiled and her eyes sparkled as she grabbed her sister's hand tightly. "Ready as I'll ever be," she said.

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The wedding was being held in a heated tent on the grounds of Shadowbarrow Hall with a warming spell ensuring the comfort of the guests. The ceremony itself would be brief; the spell used to unite them was simple enough and required little in the way of active participation. Legally you were married by signing a magically binding contract, which Bella and Rodolphus had done the night prior, but in Narcissa's mind the ceremony was useless without the spell to bind them together.

She glanced at her sister as they stepped up to the Portkey. Bellatrix might be on the wrong side of sane, but one could not argue that she was disloyal. Narcissa shook her head slightly and reached out to place her hand on the Portkey.

The Portkey brought them to the gardens, but in a small outbuilding that had been appointed for the bride's use and her attendants. Never having been one for casual friendships, Bellatrix had only Narcissa as a bridal attendant. Rodolphus´s mother had fussed over that, but it had been the one thing Bellatrix had insisted on.

Narcissa would remember the smell of flowers, sweet and pungent, and the low rumbling of thunder outside that marked her sister's wedding day. The ceremony itself passed in a blur. Narcissa remembered the resonance of the wizard's tone - but the words _themselves_ she did not remember. Bellatrix and Rodolphus spoke the sacred words that bound them together, and then he took her hand and slipped a perfect circle of platinum and diamonds onto her finger.

And then she saw him.

He was standing among the guest, staring at her. He was as good-looking as she remembered, perhaps even moreso, because when she had seen him for the last time, she had been a child and now she was a woman. Something stirred in her and after a moment of helpless perplexity, she recognized it as the beginning of physical attraction – and hated herself for her weakness.

Then it happened. For a split second and a dash of eternity their eyes met.

For one moment, Narcissa felt her insides clench up into a tight little ball, then she stilled the reeling inside her head. She knew she was strong, much stronger than most people could imagine and the same pool of strength that had sustained her during the dark abyss of her parents´ death would aid her now. Nobody, not even Lucius Malfoy, was able to penetrate the mask of frigid pride Narcissa could conjure when necessary.

She turned her eyes away and for the rest of the ceremony, she did not look at him again.

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Lucius Malfoy didn't like weddings. He thought that they were pompous and ridiculous and entirely unsuited way for a man to say goodbye to his freedom. But then, he had to come today. After all, he counted the pair as friends…

…well, or very good acquaintances anyway. The only member of either family he would ever have called a true friend was Narcissa and that had been years ago.

His expression softened almost undetectable. In retrospect, he found it difficult to understand why he had ever been interested in the youngest Black in his school days; maybe it was because she was so withdrawn. Not a very talkative person, the blonde kept her secrets for herself, and the biggest secret was who she really was. He couldn't look into her eyes or read her expression, because her emotions were under lock and key, allowed out only when she chose to show them and turned off like a light switch whenever she wanted. All he could do was listen to her words and from these few clues try to understand a girl who did not want to be understood.

Despite himself, Lucius felt a small, tender smile spreading over his lips. He could still vividly recall the last time he had seen Narcissa standing in the gardens of Hogwarts, slender and sweet-eyed in the most unnerving and dishonest fashion. The image had haunted him for years to come, and only much later did he realize that this had been a moment of destiny for him - after that moment he could never have joined Dumbledore's side. The aristocratic little pure-blood girl in her dark school robe who stood so peacefully in front of the ancient castle, that was the wizarding world as he knew it, that was good, that was what he wanted to preserve. Of course, after that scandal with her sister, it had become imprudent to stay in contact with her, but he had never forgotten that moment and recently, he had made steps to ensure this self-chosen ideal.

For a moment Lucius's icy grey eyes stared absent-mindedly at the peach-coloured roses, before he, quite abruptly, tore his gaze away. A certain hardness settled on his features. He knew what he had chosen when he joined Voldemort's court, the second that the burning tip of his wand had been over the tender flesh of his left forearm. Unlike so many others, he had not run grovelling to the other side, hoping to stay alive by selling his soul right out of the gate. He had watched the race before placing bets, and even then he had bet only on himself. He just hadn't expected that it would cost him so much.

The bride whose wedding he was attending today did not have these problems. She feasted on darkness, death and torture like no-one else he knew and although she was the Dark Lord's favourite, he sort of pitied her. Bellatrix was like a torch burning and so was Rodolphus. Together, they would produce more light, but Lucius was sure that they would burn themselves out twice as fast.

As if she had heard her thoughts, Bellatrix suddenly appeared, dressed in white as if she didn't wear the Mark on her arm or as if she did never kill. As if she were an innocent.

He had to sneer. Then, he suddenly saw the woman next to the bride and for a moment, he stood paralysed, his eyes undignifiedly widened.

When he had last seen Narcissa, she was in the twilight of childhood: a silent, oddly graceful teen with the promise of great beauty. Now, the extent of that beauty caught him unawares and slammed into his chest.

She was as delicate as he remembered, almost fragile in her slenderness, yet taller and resolutely female. Her long blonde mane seemed to be moving, billions of tiny strands stirring around the flawless white face and throat. It gleamed in the sunlight like pure gold around the pale and satin textured skin of her sculptured face with its high cheekbones and the cold, impossible blue eyes.

Yes, he thought dizzily when their eyes finally met, the eyes were exactly the same.

For one endless moment they stared at each other before, suddenly, the corner of the blonde's mouth curled upward in a faint, blood-chilling smile. She drew herself up and in spite of her lovely features, her face suddenly looked hard.

When she looked away, he couldn't understand the sudden pang of disappointment.


	10. Confrontations

AN: Thank you all so much for your reviews. You are the best. And special thanks to you, boxter, for your long, well-constructed wonderful comments. You made me blush more than once. I don´t think I deserve so much praise…but I have to admit I enjoy it greatly ;-)

**Chapter 9: Confrontations**

Relieved, Evan Rosier released Estelle Sinistra from the short song they had shared. Fergus, her boyfriend, had come back on the dance floor, and Estelle had let him put his arms around her. Evan managed a smile for his friend, an acknowledgement as close to graciousness as he was capable of. He didn´t even begin to understand what anyone could see in a girl whose favourite – and only - conversation topic was Astronomy.

He looked around to see if anyone new had arrived at the wedding party (which had turned out to be quite a dull affair so far) and then he saw her, not far off, a pale, solitary figure that stood out from the crowd as if she were lit with her own personal light. A little smile appeared on his face. Beautiful, smart, strong Narcissa. She was the girl every guy at school fawned over, the girl for whom plenty would toss their own girlfriends aside for half a chance with her.

Suddenly she caught his gaze and stared at him with an intensity he didn´t know from her. Then, slowly, very slowly, a smile spread out on her face. A relieved smile.

She moved towards him, as always managing by some magic to make a path through the close-backed bodies, like Moses parting the Read Sea.

"Evan", she greeted him. "Thank Merlin, you are the first friendly face I see this evening."

He felt his heart jump at that. It wasn´t Narcissa´s nature at all to deliver such statements. For one moment he thought about their almost-kiss in the gardens this morning, about the way she had bent her head, then he showed her his usual carefree smile. He knew the blonde well enough to know when it was wiser to play along. "As breathtaking as you look tonight?" he teased her. "That can´t be possible, Miss Black."

Narcissa rolled her eyes. "Evan, surely you know that there is a difference between friendliness and obscenity."

The young man laughed. This was one of the things he loved about her, her dry sense of humour, her cool, rational mind. In all the years he'd known her, she hadn't even begun to change - and he liked it that way. "So what´s the matter, Cissa? Why the long face?"

She waved it away. "Nothing, really. Just...there are so many people here and I find it dreadfully boring."

"Why aren´t you with your sister?"

The blue eyes opened in a flash, staring at him with something like fire in their depths. For one moment the boy felt a prickle of fear up his spine, but as suddenly as the change had come over the blonde, it disappeared again, leaving back the cool beauty he was accustomed to. "I don´t like her present company. Look."

Evan turned around and saw Bellatrix standing Lucius Malfoy´s side, laughing way too loudly about something the blond had told her. Her lush, voluptuous body was still wrapped in her white robes that surprisingly were a wonderful compliment to her exotic good looks. Standing next to Lucius they made a striking pair.

He frowned. "But I thought Malfoy was your friend?"

Narcissa bit her lips, her impressive eyes clouding themselves in thoughtfulness. "So did I." Then she shook her head. "It seems that we were both mistaken."

For one moment he stared at her, rendered dumb by the still, weary resignation in her voice. His answer betraid none of these feelings, though. "Well, I know what you need!" he proclaimed. "A glass of bowl will sort all of your troubles out."

Her snort was worthy of a Severus Snape. "I wouldn´t bet on it."

xxx

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Narcissa tried to have a good time at her sister´s wedding, she really did. Smiling at the right times, she drank bowl and did small talk with everyone she knew and many people she´d never seen before, but inwardly she was exhausted with the effort that such a ruse took out of her. The atmosphere was oppressive, and the chatter hurt her ears. The people around her seemed to be nothing more than empty shells with nothing at all inside them. And on top of all, Lucius was staring at her.

Furtively, she looked around so that she could catch him doing it again from the head table, his face inscrutable.

Her features hardened. She turned to Evan who hadn´t left the place at her side the whole evening. "Evan, I want to dance," she demanded quite shortly.

The back of her neck was prickling again when the young man laid his arms around her waist. Nevertheless she decided not to look up at the head table; Lucius might finally catch her staring at him, and anyway, it would be better to appear totally engrossed in her own date. At the same time, she felt a little awkward staring right into Evan's face, only a few inches from her own.

It took her a few minutes before she began to relax. She stopped paying attention to the dancing, to Evan's face, to the pricklings of her neck, and let herself drift away on the music, feeling reassured by the presence of another person, even though she wished it was Lucius instead.

...Didn't she?

Narcissa thought for a moment, looking around at the other dancing couples. Everyone out in the open, everyone having a good time. Only she felt desperate. Suddenly she asked herself why. Evan had been funny, and nice, and -- normal. He knew how to talk to people, how to tease, how to make her laugh. He had never betraid her trust.

Would it be so bad to have a normal relationship, she wondered? Where she could just be herself and not worry about hiding anything or about standing up to her family honour? She tried to ignore the idea, feeling vaguely pathetic for even considering it, but the sensation didn't go away: the sensation that, just for once, maybe she could do something like other people did...

"What are you thinking about?" Evan asked quietly.

Narcissa started, and saw that Evan was watching her, his expression gentle and unwontedly solemn. It was such a change from his usual mischief that she almost found herself blurting out the truth. _What life would be like -- if things were really like this.´_

Inwardly she shook her head. She had survived far worse situations and she would survive this as well. There was no need to feel like this, no need to feel as if someone were pricking her skin with hot little pins all over, while her heart sat sick and heavy in her chest. "Nothing", she answered with as reassuring a smile as she could muster. "Would you please excuse me? I will be back in a few."

She had no intention of being back in a few, though "several" might be enough.

Smiling wistfully, she wrapped her scarf around her and turned away from the lively scene. She hoped she'd pulled off a good enough act today that nobody would start worrying for her after five minutes. She just needed a little time to herself, that was all.

Wandering down the corridor that led to the ballroom, she finally stopped in a chilly, empty hallway in front of the portrait of a woman in her mid-twenties. A fragile-looking, birdlike beauty with innocent, imploring grey eyes that seemed too ravishing for the envy of women or the desire of men. Unlike the paintings in Grimmauld Place who were always ranting about something, this woman stared into nothing as if the world were not real to her, as if she was searching for one perfect setting that she alone could find.

She shook her head abruptly. Well, it had been long enough for somebody to notice her absence, so she should probably better stand to go back in now. She huddled even deeper into her scarf and turned to go back when she saw him.

Lucius was standing by the doorway. Not blocking it exactly, but unmistakably there, half-hidden by the shadows and his own dark robes. The blonde froze and felt something horrible, something hurtful trying to claw its way up her throat.

There were so many things that she wanted to say - so many lines that she had rehearsed during the years that she had dreamt of this reunion, but they had all left her now. All she could do was stare and bite her tongue.

At her failure to speak, Lucius gave her a little smile and took the empty space beside her. "It has been quite a while, Narcissa", his eyes fixed on her with frightening intensity. "You've changed."

She felt her pulse jump alarmingly under his scrutiny. "Disappointed?" she asked, maybe a bit too coldly.

"That's not quite the word I would use." Something in his face softened before he abruptly shook his head as though he had just remembered where he was and who he was addressing. "So, tell me, how are you, Narcissa?"

"Quite well, thank you ", she told him rather stiffly, still not knowing how to talk to him after such a long time and suddenly possessed of a horrible fear that he could see the nervous fluttering his nearness evoked. "Please excuse me, Evan is waiting for me."

Lucius slowly nodded, the grey eyes never breaking contact with hers and glittering strangely.

Eyes fixed firmly ahead, though each fibre of her body seemed attuned to the blond's every breath, Narcissa began to march determinedly to the door. If Lucius would just let her go. . .just let her be. . .then she could get back to the hall and this demon inside her wouldn't break free tonight.

"Narcissa." She stiffened at the sound of Lucius's voice addressing her, commanding her to turn around. Slowly she turned to face him, noticing immediately the same disapproving glare she had felt the entire evening on her neck. Gathering her feelings under the protective layer she had developed against the world, her own eyes narrowed to match his cold glare and waited for him to continue with whatever he had to say.

"You were avoiding me all day. Are you angry with me?"

"Why should I be? Because you haven´t talked to me in what, four years? Why the hell should I care?" The words had left her mouth without her will and for one moment she was frightened of her recklessness. But then it felt good not to hold back the truth for once. Very good.

Lucius said softly, "Be careful, Narcissa. Nobody talks to me in that way."

But Narcissa had moved beyond careful and was rapidly hurtling towards complete recklessness. "Of course I shouldn´t have expected anything better from you. You would not even deal with your own cousin because his mother had married a moodblood."She laughed bitterly. "But then you wouldn´t have gotten along with Severus anyway. You never could live with an superior."

She could see his vein beginning to throb at the pale temple. "I can´t say that I appreciate your choices, either", he returned smoothly. "I find this Rosier boy rather shallow, but apparently you can´t even live with an equal."

Narcissa's anticipation vaporized in the eruption of her anger. She struggled with herself over the violent reaction she so wanted to indulge in, feeling it would be much wiser for her to simply get away from him and allow herself to cool down. She exhaled and turned away from the Malfoy heir, preparing herself to get back into the loud toil of the ball room when a brutal hand held her back.

"Don't you dare walk away when I'm talking to you." Lucius´s quiet voice harsh and unforgiving only served to flame that fury she fought so hard to control. He stepped closer but this time she held her ground, raising her chin defiantly at the imposing frame that would send so many others scurrying away whimpering

without him uttering a word. But not her.

"My time is my own, Mr. Malfoy", she spat, her voice raising with each word she spoke. "And I don´t think you have any right to tell me what to do."

"Just as you have no right to talk to me in that manner." The candlelight glimmered off his hair, rich and bright as spun gold, picking out the perfect lines of his profile, shimmering slightly off the tips of blond eyelashes.

"Have I not?" She laughed coldly. "Do you know that they taunted my in Slytherin when the news of Andromeda´s marriage spread around Hogwarts? Lucius Malfoy´s little friend, the sister of a blood traitor. One day, I found myself crowded by your good friend Ellen Rookwood and some older boys, who wanted to see if my blood looked traitorous. I spend a week in the Hospital wing. I have been forced to suffer the shame of her betrayal, every day in school and you didn´t give a damn. You just stopped writing me."

" I… didn´t know."

She laughed again, a sharp, humourless laughter. "I do not need your pity, Lucius. You didn´t know because you didn´t want to and now excuse me."

Feeling the muscles in her neck and back tighten as she walked sedately out of the room, the floor seemed to wobble under her feet, and for a moment she thought she would faint. When she was alone, she began to run, not caring that she might drew the House Elves´ attention on her with her loud steps or that she did not even know in which direction she was heading. All that mattered now was that she got out, out and away. Away from these cold grey eyes, away from his exquisite mouth, away, away, simply away.

She only stopped when she didn´t have any breath, leaning against a cold stone wall and feeling angry shivers shaking her fragile body.

Oh, how she hated him, Lucius, this…stupid rich boy, this… nauseatingly perfect bastard.

"Nauseatingly perfect bastard", the dark timbre of a male voice behind her startled her. She flew around and found herself face to face with a pair of crimson eyes.

"Yes", a tall, dark-haired man replied with a thin smile on his lips. "I think that this fits our dear Mr. Malfoy quite appropriately."


	11. A man with crimson eyes

Thank you all so much for your reviews!

Higher than Skyhigh: Thank you SO MUCH for your kind words. You´re right, I am no native speaker. Unfortunately I lost contact to my old beta and now I have to deal with my terrible grammar myself…I hope it isn´t too bad!

**Chapter 11: A man with crimson eyes**

For one moment Narcissa stared bewildered at the intruder.

She had never seen him before, she was sure of that, because he was the kind of man one does not forget, tall and slim, yet with broad shouldersstren. Only his eyes, without a doubt the first thing people noticed about him, were strange. The colour of blood... or of roses, she thought bedazzled. They burned in the impossibly pale and flawless skin like rubies set in marble. The face of a god. Or a demon.

It took her some time before she found back her usual poise. "You must forgive me, sir, I thought I was alone."

"So did I." His voice was very soft, very gentle, but his eyes laid with frightening intensity on her face. "You are Bellatrix´s younger sister, aren´t you?"

He must be one of the guests, she concluded, and forced herself to smile. "Yes", she answered politely. "I am Narcissa Black. It is a pleasure to meet you."

"Narcissa." He laughed softly. "How vain. And I thought that the Blacks were all named after stars."

Narcissa´s lips thinned at this open mockery. She didn´t happen to like her name very much herself, but this didn´t mean that she would allow any stranger to ridicule her. "If your next sentence is to be about my hair, rest assured that I know that I am blonde", she returned shrewdly, some of the Black wickedness coming up in her.

The man stared blankly for her for a moment, then he chuckled softly. "You have kink. Good, I like that!" Something deep within his violet irises was brewing; something, perhaps calculation, perhaps malice, Narcissa wasn´t able to tell, but his smile was not unfriendly. "Yet you mustn´t wonder about such statements. It´s such a seldom colour, this shade of gold. It reminds me of this silly old poem _´Never shall a young man thrown into despair/ by those great honey-coloured ramparts at your ear/ love you for yourself alone and not your yellow hair.´_ You don´t come to know William Butler Yeats by some mysterious trick, do you?"

She wasn´t sure whether he was still mocking her, so she found it saver to answer with all the frostiness she was capable of. "I am sorry, sir, I´ve never heard of a poet called Yeats."

He smiled indulgently. "That doesn´t surprise me. He was a muggle."

Narcissa´s mind began to race. How the hell did this strange man happen to know a muggle poet? Could it be that. . . "Are you a halfblood?" she asked incrediously, not believing for one moment that her sister would invite such an individual into her house.

"I am more than blood."

She stopped dead in her tracks. "What does this mean?" she returned, trying not to let show the sudden, unexplainable discomfort these words evoced in her. "Who are you? What is your name?"

His smile made her shiver. "Some names are better not to be spoken. But don´t bother yourself with these questions, child. Not yet. Rather than talking about me, I would love to know more about you."

He made her uncomfortable, she didn´t know why. "And why´s that?"

The chuckle started somewhere deep in his throat and bubbled darkly over his lips. "Because the fittest live, they alone awaken the next day, snap open their eyes to the world and greet the morning. The strongest survive and you are strong, Narcissa, even if you don´t know it yourself." He leaned forward, his lips almost brushing her ear. "You have but one great weakness, and that is Lucius Malfoy."

She paled, feeling as though he had slapped her in the face. For one moment the world seemed to be swimming in front of her eyes while a frozen terror she had never known before pooled itself in her stomach.

Observing her reaction, a playfully cruel little smile appeared on the man's full lips. "Oh, yes, he´s your weak point. And you are his. You… distract him." He laughed softly. "You two appear so cold, but you are drawn to each other like moths to a flame, with equal chance of surviving the union or destroying each other in some glorious conflagration. I think it might be interesting to watch."

She ran her tongue over her suddenly dry lips. "I don´t have a single clue what you are talking about, sir", she whispered, trying to swallow against the sudden, unmasked fear that began to rise in her throat.

He smirked, the coldness of his eyes sending another wave of fear through her body. Unconsciously she lifted her hands, in defense or to curl them on his broad shoulders, she didn´t know. "Oh yes, you know," he retorted, a cruel expression in his crimson eyes. "And I will give you the chance to get what you want, little star. Of course you will pay me for this one day."

Finally he stepped back. "And now return to the others. Your companion will be worried already."

She didn´t ask how he came to know about Evan. She didn´t ask how he knew so much about the secrets she harboured in the chambers of her dark soul. She didn´t utter a single question. She just nodded, before she fled the room.

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Severus Snape would never say that he understood Narcissa Black.

Oh, he liked the girl, liked her for her merciless wit, her cool calculating mind and her infrequent wintry smiles, but he knew that he would never quite understand her.

Unbidden, the picture of the blonde sitting on a chair in the dining room of Shadowbarrow Hall yesterday came to the front of his mind - her innocent hair falling lightly around her pale face with its high, aristocratic cheekbones and the impossible blue eyes. The people around her were talking, but she wasn't. In fact she even looked vaguely bored, as though her sister's friends were incredibly dull but she was too polite to let it show much.

In the midst of all her admirers and followers, Severus had felt a pulling away in her, a desire to leave and to go off alone that had instantly caught his interest. Unlike all other persons at the wedding, Bellatrix´s little sister had refused to make any commitment to the people around her, had refused to pretend allegiance to anybody, no matter how powerful or how high in Voldemort´s grace. She had looked as though she needed nobody but herself.

Severus had never been a man that was easy to surprise, but this girl and the cold, self-sufficient strength in her eyes always managed to arose curiosity in him.

So he had watched her and he had noticed some strange things. The way Lucius´s eyes would lay on her, the way she would willingly ignore it, the way it infuriated the Malfoy heir.

Interesting.

As far as he knew, his cousin had ignored the youngest Black girl completely after Andromeda´s betrayal and now her beauty and her aloofness had re-awakened his interest in the girl. But he had to admit, that they would match each other perfectly, that there was something about the two against all sense and all reason. They were so alike in so many different aspects. Both were dark sort of creature hiding behind angelic faces, fiercely proud and exquisitely cruel with an obnoxious smirk that could tear you to pieces. Both had already seen too many things wind up broken.

And yet, he wondered if Lucius bothered with Narcissa at all if she weren't that beautiful. If she didn't have eyes that lit up like a six-year-old's on Christmas morning while hiding a thousand secrets and lies. If she didn't...

He snarled, running his hands distractedly through his hair.

Something had happened between them, he was sure of it. There had been some encounter that had left Lucius angry and Narcissa…if he didn´t know that no power on earth could make the girl feel uncomfortable with herself, he would have sworn that she had been afraid. So afraid that she had not answered when Bellatrix had invited them all to dinner for next week.

He wondered what on earth could awaken this cold girl´s fear.

And in this moment, Severus made a decision.

Slowly he moved to the camine. He didn't know exactly why he was doing this. Maybe because he owed it to Narcissa. Maybe a part of him wanted to see them happy. Both of them.

He crouched down in front of the empty grate, graping the Floo powder laying neatly at its side. Sticking his head into the fireplace, he took a large pinch of the glittering substance and dropped it on to the logs stacked neatly beneath him. They exploded at once into emerald green flames. "Number twelve, Grimmauld Place", he said loud and clearly.

One instant later he found himself facing a big-eyes House Elf. "I would like to speak with Miss Narcissa Black!" he said bruskly after he had regained his composure after the journey. "Tell her Severus Snape wants a word with her."

The tiny creature stared at him distrustfully, but nodded a moment later. "Kreacher is getting the young mistress", he told him in a squeeky voice, his big eyes cast down again. "Kreacher will be back in one moment, sir."

With quick steps, he disappeared from the grate and left Severus with time to look around the room. It was obviously a drawing room. The wallpaper was a deep dusty gold, and far below a chandelier hung from the oval cluster of plaster leaves on the hallway ceiling; somthing frothy and Venetian that he could recall having seen before in some book of his mother. Gilt fauteuils gleamed in the shadows, graceful straight-backed chairs, but it wasn´t the unmistakable elegance of the room that took him by surprise - he had expected no less for the famous Black clan - but the atmosphere ruling the place. A veil of stillness laid over all, as if the world beyond had gone up in smoke, some dreadful silence like the silence before the storm. He shuddered. So this was the most ancient and noble House of Black.

"Hello Severus", a cold voice woke him from his pensiveness.

"Narcissa." He looked up at her, confronting her eyes that were as brilliantly blue as always, but with the faintest suggestion of dark circles under them; a sleepless night, and Severus was willing to bet that this was for Lucius's sake as well.

"How are you feeling?" Sympathy came hard to him, but she was little more than a girl...

"Very well, thank you. Any reason why I shouldn't?" Again, the holding of eye contact for slightly longer than was necessary. She looked so pale, woven from insubstantial light, her eyes the only real point of colour.

"You didn't seem so very well when we left Shadowbarrow Hall yesterday, so I thought I should ask after your welfare."

She looked at him speculatively. "Thank you, I guess."

"You're welcome."

She leaned closer, making the firelight play over her hair, shining fine-spun gold, caressing her pale skin. Her dark blue eyes bored into hers, cold, probing. "But somehow I don't buy that this is your only reason for calling."

Severus was beginning to remember one of the reasons why he didn't like to talk to Narcissa Black; the girl was too smart for his own good. "What a suspicious person you are, Black", he returned dryly.

"It's a serious character flaw, I know, but that doesn't answer my question."

If she didn't want to play along, it would be wisest to go for the jugular directly. "I thought you might be in want of some moral support after your encounter with my cousin yesterday", he told her shrewdly. "Does this answer your question?"

Already while he spoke these words, the blonde's face had undergone some ugly change; while her eyes had become smaller, her mouth, without switching at all, suddenly looked cruel for some reason. "What the hell has he told you?" she hissed hatefully.

Severus fought hard to suppress a smile. "He didn't have to tell me anything, Black", he told her descendingly. "This not entirely insubstantial talent to ruin young women seems to run in his family."

Pressing her lips together in a firm line as if trying to force back the ghost of some ugly memory by sheer willpower, Narcissa stared defiantly at him. "Be this like it is, I couldn´t care less."

"Yes, that's exactly the way it seems to me." Severus returned sardonically, letting his eyes run over her fragile form. His expression softened a bit. "It will be hard to face him on Bellatrix´s dinner party next week, I suppose?"

The blonde's eyes clouded until they became some blurry shade of midnight blue. "I am not going there", she explained curtly.

"You don't mean that."

She laughed bitterly. "Oh, you can bet your collections of forbidden books I do. Name me one reason why I should go."

He hesitated a moment before he answered. "Revenge."

Narcissa paused, caught off guard, and for a moment he believed to see a softening in her countenance that hadn't been there before. "Revenge?" she repeated, flipping back a strand of her golden locks. It was impossible to read the emotions flickering through her eyes. "What if your cousin didn't give me a reason for revenge?"

Severus sneered as though the girl had said something particularly naive. "Revenge doesn't need a reason, Black", he told her descendingly. "Only a victim."

The faintest hint of a smile unexpectedly teased at one corner of her mouth, but it was gone so fast that Severus was almost convinced he had imagined it. "You'd really love to see him on his knees for once."

"And you wouldn't?"

Something he had never before seen in her cold blue eyes flickered brightly in their depths and hid itself again. "Yes", she answered slowly. "Maybe I would."

He smirked. "That's all I need to know."

For one moment she seemed lost in her memories again, unmarked in her freshness, her beauty, yet deep within some dangerous prison of her own thoughts. Eventually, she nodded thoughtfully, but her eyes still did not seem to focus on him. "Thanks for calling, Snape."

Severus smirked. "Again: You're welcome."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Beginnings and endings**

_AN: I am soooooo sorry for the delay! My life is just a terrible mess at the moment!__ But it is finally done. Voila, the two final chapters of "Rising Stars"!_

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After Severus had broken the contact, Narcissa still stared into the flames for several moments.

Eventually she stood up, beginning to walk up and down the drawing room. She wasn't sure why Severus had made this useless call, but she couldn't deny that his words had touched a nerve.

Perhaps because there was more than an inch of truth in them.

At the window she stopped her senseless walking. The sun already sank, but the rain still continued unmercifully, blowing against the glass that reflected her image. Her eyes showed the signs of sleeplessness and suppressed tears, the blue surrounded and invaded by redness, lids puffed, expression dull and lifeless. Her blond hair hung lank and straight to her shoulders.

Abruptly she turned away from the window.

No, that was no way to handle this at all. There was another way. A cold, ruthless, but effective way to make sure that Lucius didn't think of her as his toy. It wouldn't make him love Narcissa; she was prepared to accept at least that was impossible. But it would ruin his little fantasy for a long time.

She straightened herself and forced her trademark wintry smile on her face.

She would damn well show Lucius Malfoy who was in charge!

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Lucius Malfoy was getting angrier and angrier with every passing moment.

He had been reluctant to attend to Bellatrix´s party, reluctant to see Narcissa again. He still remembered the scene at the wedding too well. The anger, the hurt in her eyes, it had been…unnerving.

"_Do you know that they taunted my in Slytherin when the news of Andromeda´s marriage spread around Hogwarts? Lucius Malfoy´s little friend, the sister of a blood traitor. One day, I found myself crowded by your good friend __Ellen Rookwood and some__ older boys, who wanted to see if my blood looked traitorous. I spend a week in the Hospital wing. I have __been forced to suffer the shame of her betrayal, every day in school and you didn't give a damn."_

" _I… didn't know."_

"_I do not need your pity, Lucius. You didn't know because you didn't want to and now excuse me."_

Perhaps, he admitted to himself, perhaps it could have ended differently, if only he had been a bit less self-absorbed. But as it had turned out, his pride in his good reputation had lost him the one person who had ever truly cared for him.

And now the bitch had the nerve to flirt with that damn Rosier boy right in front of him. Had the nerve to smile at him, to laugh like the innocent girl he knew she wasn't.

He snarled, running his hands distractedly through his hair.

He knew he shouldn't care, hell, he should even be happy for her because the Rosier brat was a good match for a pureblood girl, but this Narcissa in front of him didn't seem real. The real Narcissa, the one he knew, was like himself, cold and jaded and without the slightest trace of a conscience. And he would never want her to change. Though he hated to admit it, hated to make himself weak, he suddenly knew that he needed that old Narcissa back because she was the only person in the world who would accept him just the way he was.

He wanted her, and he hated it, but he knew that simply loathing this cursed emotion wouldn't make it change.

He wandered down the hall and sat down next to Bellatrix who was looking gorgeous in robes of deep blood red.

It was always blood with Bellatrix.

"I hope you are happy with your party, my dear Mrs Lestrange", he all but drawled the words.

Bellatrix snorted. "You know how much I hate this sort of party, but Rodolphus stupid mother insisted. I swear I could kill that old cow."

Lucius smirked. He had seen this look on Bellatrix's face before when she was chasing mudbloods, but she was usually enjoying herself much more than she appeared to be at the present moment. Suddenly he pitied the poor Mrs Lestrange sr. who tried so hard to make everything alright for her daughter-in-law. When Bellatrix had married last week, it was obvious her devotion would never be to the Lestrange family, although she spoke of purity and cleansing the Wizarding world of those unworthy to share it with them. Her devotion was to the Dark Lord alone and Merlin only knew how long she would survive in this all consuming passion. He had never thought about it, but he suddenly realized that Narcissa was in many ways the last chance for respectability for the House of Black.

Poor girl.

He chose his next words with care. "I noticed that your sister and that Rosier boy seemed to be quite attached to each other. Are any serious intentions on either party or if it is just juvenile infatuation?"

Bella shrugged. "Who knows? Evan has been smitten with her for years, but Narcissa...she's the most self-sufficient person I know."

For one moment Lucius saw the girl's blue eyes in front of him, so skilful at hiding her every emotion, heard the cool precision of her voice and a wistful smile broke out on his face. "I suppose that's true", he returned softly. "But then it would be a prudent match."

Bellatrix laughed loudly. "Not for Evan, the poor guy does not know what he is barguing for. My little sister isn't half as good at heart as she pretends to be. She is the kind of person who would snatch a cookie out of the hand of a starving orphan. I'm not saying she would enjoy it, but she would do it if she felt she had to."

Lucius smiled softly. "That's how I perceive her, too."

Suddenly Bella looked suspiciously. "Why do you ask anyway?"

His smile deepened. "No special reason."

After all, love was the most common reason in the world.

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Narcissa sat on a high rosewood ottoman, under the shade of a huge oak in the rear of the house. She had a scarcely touched plate in her hands and Evan Rosier right next to her. The barbecue had reached its peak and the warm air was full of laughter and talk, the click of silver on porcelain and the rich heavy smells of roasting meats and redolent gravies.

She was laughing at some ridiculous joke the boy at her side had made.

She had been laughing the whole day, it seemed, laughing, teasing, tossing her head at his compliments until her earrings danced.

She saw that Lucius tried to keep his eyes from her but could not, and after each glance Narcissa redoubled her efforts.

To the outward eye, never had a girl less cause to be miserable, but inwardly she felt dead. She wouldn't care about the man at her side, but she cared about the way Lucius stared at her with hard eyes. Oh, it was what she had wanted, but she had not expected the way his gaze would hurt her. The most peculiar feeling was fluttering in her chest. All this time, everybody always depended utterly upon her coldness, her absolute lack of pain, and she was sick of it. She was sick of everything.

"Evan?" she asked suddenly, interrupting the young man ruthlessly. "Would you take a walk with me? I'm tired of this party."

Evan looked surprised but nodded. When she stood up, she could feel the weight of Lucius´s stare in her back and, oddly enough, it gave her the will to smile at Evan. "The gardens?"

"Of course." In the softening of his eyes, she saw that he thought of another time in these gardens, of an almost-kiss and it almost made her laugh.

But she did not laugh. She did not say a word when they wandered around the garden, she just let the boy at her side talk.

Staring at the luscious flowers, she let herself sink in old memories of the days she had spent together with Lucius at Hogwarts what seemed a lifetime ago, before her cursed sister had destroyed it all.

She had cried for days when Andromeda had left. She had cried until Bellatrix had slapped her into the face, telling her to shut up, to never say that name again.

And in the midst of all her misery she had had no idea that her sister's betrayal would cost her Lucius´s affection.

"Narcissa?"

She looked up sharply. "Sorry, Evan, what did you say?"

"Cissa, is everything alright with you? You seem…"

Suddenly she hated him for his concern, for his good temper. "What?" she all but snapped the words. "I seem what?"

"Well, not at all like yourself."

She laughed harshly. "Yeah? And how do you think you know what I am like, Evan?"

He looked startled. "Well, I…"

But she did not let him finish the sentence. The famous Black temper was rising in her and for once she submitted to it. "Tell me, do you even know what my favourite colour is? What books I like? What dreams I have? Do you?"

"Well, until now I hoped to be a part of that dreams. But obviously I was mistaken."

And suddenly she realized. Realized that for him it was more than a short-termed affection. That he loved her, the same stupid way she had lost her mind for Lucius."

"Oh", was all she could say.

He looked at her very seriously. "I am in love with you, Narcissa. I have been for years. But…you don't share this feeling, do you?"

"Evan, you…" The anger vanished as soon as it came. All she felt now was sorrow. "You're frighteningly smart and perceptive, you listen to people when they talk, you're kind and generous, you have a wonderful sense of humour." her voice grew soft. "Believe me, Evan, you are the very best man I know and I am incredibly happy to have you as a friend."

"But you don't love me."

She couldn't look into his eyes. "No, I don't."

An seemingly endless moment, there was silence. Narcissa wanted to say something, but for once she was at a loss. They were alone in the gardens and he was so close she could feel the heat from his body. She so desperately wanted to put out a hand, find his smooth cheek and tell him that she loved him, that he was her best friend, the brother she never had. She wanted to tell him that in the cold and dark labyrinth that was her life no-one was dearer to her. But this wasn't what he wanted.

"Evan…" she finally tried tentatively.

"It'll be okay, Cissa", he said, unable to avoid the bitterness. "Don't bother yourself with it."

Then he turned around and left her standing alone.

It was the last time she saw him. Only two days after Bellatrix´s party, he joined the Death Eaters. A week later he was killed by two Aurors. Their names were Alice and Frank Longbottom.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: The End

Lucius Malfoy had never been at Grimmauld Place 12 and he instantly decided that this had been no loss. The room the house elf had left him in to inform "Miss Cissy" about his visit, was chilly. The wallpaper was a deep dusty gold, and far below a chandelier hung from the oval cluster of plaster leaves on the hallway ceiling; something frothy and Venetian that he could recall having seen before in some book of his mother. Gilt fauteuils gleamed in the shadows, graceful straight-backed chairs, but it wasn't the unmistakable elegance of the room that took him by surprise - he had expected no less for the famous Black clan - but the atmosphere ruling the place. A veil of stillness laid over all, as if the world beyond had gone up in smoke, some dreadful silence like the silence before the storm. He shuddered. So this was the most ancient and noble House of Black.

"Lucius."

He looked up and saw her standing in the doorframe. She looked tired but she held herself up as straight as always. There seemed to be nothing that could break that girl ultimately.

"Narcissa", he said simply.

She still looked at him, thoughtful, meditating. "How can I help you?"

"I came to tell you how sorry I am about … " about all of this, about the way I've treated you after school, about the look in your eyes. "About Rosier."

"Are you?" she asked sardonically. "I did not think that anything ever matters to you."

"Well, it does." The defeated look in her face gave him the force to continue. "I know that you cared a lot about him and I am sorry that your friend had to die so young. It matters to me. And I cared about the things you told me at your sister's wedding. I've never apologized for stopping to write you, have I?"

"No, you haven't."

He smiled a little uncomfortably. "Would you accept an apology if I offered you one?"

The blonde did not smile back. "Slytherin to the core, aren't we?" she asked tiredly. "Always scheming, always planning, always arranging for the consequences that we want to take place. Why don't you simply apologize and wait if I forgive you or not?"

Their eyes linked in a gaze so intense it almost pained him. She was drawing him in slowly, defying him with those sad eyes. "I apologize", he said after an eternity. "It was unforgivable. I thought more about my reputation than about you although I should have known that Bellatrix would provide a poor comforter. I am deeply sorry."

Narcissa lowered her eyes. "I accept your apology."

He nodded. "Thank you."

For a long time neither of them said anything. When she looked up again, he was shocked to see tears in her eyes. "This is all my fault," she whispered. "He was so full of life and how he's dead and it's all my fault."

"No, it's not."

She laughed bitterly. "Oh yes, it is. I told him that I did not love him and that was why he joined the Dark Lord and that's why he's dead. That's quite clearly my fault, isn't it?"

"You did not love him?" It came out sharper than intended.

"No, I did not", she smiled ruefully. "He was the best man I've ever known and I could not bring myself to love him. I guess that is the ultimate prove that Sirius was right. I am the Ice Queen. I have no heart."

"You know that this is not right."

"Is it not?" Narcissa suddenly sighed heavily. "Why did you come, Lucius? Why this all?" She swept a hand out in an all-encompassing gesture, indicating the world, them, heaven, hell. Life and death.

He paused, caught off guard, and for a moment he was not so sure about himself anymore. Then he looked at her and suddenly he knew. "I missed you, Cissy. I missed you more than I would imagine and I still miss you. Sometimes I think you are the only person that ever truly understood me."

He reached out, and this time Narcissa caught his hand. Her fingers were cool, delicate. It felt as though he could crush them with just a flex of his hand.

Very carefully he kissed that fragile hand. "Everything will be fine", he promised her firmly. And when she smiled at him – openly and warmly and not at all an Ice Queen – he knew that it would be.

The End

AN: It took me an unbelievable long time to finish this story. Thank you all for being there for me such a long time!


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